The Type Of B*tch You Are, According To Your Zodiac Sign
The bitch is back!
getty If someone calls you a b*tch, are you offended or are you flattered?
Being called a b*tch used to be a huge insult and it implied that you were a ballbreaker, hard to get along with, and mean. Now, it’s come to mean a woman who is empowered, who gets want she wants, and someone who is an overall badass.
B*tches aren’t about people-pleasing, playing it safe, and bending to the status quo, even if their horoscope says to do otherwise. They aren’t afraid to speak their mind and don’t care if you like them or not.
They stand up for themselves, and if they feel fear they don’t let it control them. Who doesn’t want to be a b*tch when they grow up?
If somebody doesn’t like you being a b*tch, screw them. It’s your life and you don’t have to be whatever you don’t want to be just because someone thinks that’s what you should do.
You might be rude, annoying, self-centered, even abrasive, but it doesn’t matter if it makes you feel strong. Life is hard, so why shouldn’t you have whatever kind of armor you can have?
Though there are many types of b*tches, here are the zodiac signs who are b*tches and exactly what kind of b*tch they are.
Aries: Headstrong B*tch
Once you've made up your mind, nobody better get in your way. You'll listen to reason, you just won't follow it. Your determination is impressive. Are you obstinate? Sure, but you get things done and you make things happen.
You try not to overthink things because then fear will creep its way in and that's the last thing you want. If the end results are less than spectacular, you'll still have no regrets.
Taurus: Boss B*tch
You embrace who you are without apology. You take good care of yourself, and if other people don't like it, they can go away. You're all that and people can say what they like about you; their words aren't going to bring you down.
You've got standards and you're not going to be with someone who doesn't meet them. You don't need anyone else to have a good time because you're perfectly happy staying home and enjoying a glass (or two) of wine.
Gemini: Party-hopper B*tch
You love to be around people and socialize. There's nothing better than true communication between people, and there's no better place to talk to people than a social event.
However, if the party or lunch isn't holding your interest, you'll make a hasty departure and go to another event. Since you're so popular, it's not unheard of for you to double-book yourself so you have several events in one day. Carpe diem, b*tches.
Cancer: Moody B*tch
So what if you have mood swings? You'd rather feel your emotions fully than stuff them down and not deal with them. You own your emotions and you express them in creative ways.
You've been accused of being temperamental, but you don't care. You know that your feelings fuel you. You're intuitive and you listen to what your gut tells you, and it's amazing how many times your intuition has come to pass.
Leo: Queen B*tch
You're in charge and you like people to do what you tell them to. People gravitate to you because of your take-charge attitude and your power. You dazzle, even if you're not wearing a crown of jewels or carrying a scepter.
You might not have any royal blood, but you act as if you do, and people gravitate to you. You may not be able to rule a country but that doesn't mean you don't rule.
Virgo: Picky B*tch
It can be challenging to please you because you're so critical and finicky. It's not that you're not kind and sensitive, just overly observant of small imperfections. If something isn't perfect, you're not happy.
Is one of your hobbies fault-finding, or is it more of a vocation? You like things to be perfect and don't care who you antagonize in the process. Sometimes you have to let the little things slide or you'll just get too overwhelmed to do anything.
Libra: Everybody's B*tch
Because of your desperate need to be liked by everybody, you've put yourself in a position where people can take advantage of you. You may hate confrontation or having to pick sides, but sometimes you have to avoid coming off as fake or wishy-washy.
You need to stand up for yourself and not let people walk all over you. You can be easy-going without being a doormat.
Scorpio: Mysterious B*tch
You're one of the most honest people around, and yet, you always seem to hold something back. You're a mystery and people find this fascinating and frustrating about you.
What's going on in your mind? Are you plotting for someone's destruction or planning a surprise baby shower? It's hard to know with you; still, it keeps people intrigued.
Sagittarius: Impatient B*tch
When you want something, you want it now. There's no delaying your gratification as it seems as if you're lacking the patience gene. When someone tells you to wait, it infuriates you.
If you're at the airport or on the plane and you are stuck behind someone who is taking (in your opinion) too much time, it takes everything in you not to shove them out of the way. Good thing you're a kind person or you could be a real jerk.
Capricorn: One-upper B*tch
Every time one of your friends says an accomplishment, you turn it around and make it about you. If your friend swam 50 laps in the pool and is really feeling it in her legs, you did boot camp and your whole body is feeling wrecked.
Not everything is a competition. Everyone deserves their moment in the spotlight. Try to be more supportive and sympathetic. Friendship is about give and take, not about you getting all the praise and your friend getting nothing.
Aquarius: Stone-cold B*tch
When someone gets too emotional around you, you shut it down. You come off sometimes as being incredibly coldhearted.
It's not that you don't care or that you're not compassionate, it's just that intense emotions make you really uncomfortable and you don't know what you're supposed to do or say.
Putting up a wall is one way to deal when someone is upset, or you could try to listen to them without judgment.
Pisces: Artsy B*tch
You're super easy-going and nice... unless someone criticizes your art or your process. You may have more of an inner b*tch than an obvious b*tch but it's there. Nobody better mess with you when you're feeling inspired and are creating because the artsy b*tch is fierce.
You may not be overly confident, but you believe in your art and you'll fight anyone who tries to take it away from you.
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Christine Schoenwald is a writer and performer. She's had articles in The Los Angeles Times, Salon, Bustle, Medium, and Woman's Day. Visit her website or her Instagram.