The 13 MOST Offensive Halloween Costumes Of 2017 For Kids And Adults
Sassy Anne Frank, anyone?
As we round the bases toward the finish line at the end of the Halloween costume shopping/creating/criticizing/ogling season each October, it's always fun to take a look at the trends of the year and what they say about us as a species.
Have we evolved as one might hope? Have matured as a people united in the goal of peace, love, happiness, tolerance, inclusion, acceptance and goodwill towards all? Or have we descended into an endless yet somehow ever-elongating spiral downward into the true depths of humanity at it's worst? Some combo of the above, perhaps.
RELATED: Study Explains How Wearing A SEXY Halloween Costume Helps You Find Love
I leave the level of ultimate judgment to all of you, dear readers. Far be it for me to decide what specifically is or should be inappropriate or offensive to anyone other than myself.
And yet, there are some costume ideas out there that seem to beg for rational people across the globe to stand up and call out as just plain wrong.
So without further ado, and for your head-smacking, eye-rolling pleasure, here are my picks for the 13 most offensive Halloween costumes of 2017.
1. Anne Frank costume
The Internet went appropriately bonkerdoodles (that's a technical term, so I just added it to my computer's dictionary and you may want to do the same) when seemingly unbelievable rumors began circling that when online retailers stocking up for 2017 included an Anne Frank costume in their offerings for children. How could that possibly be true, right?
Unfortunately, as ludicrous as it may seem, this story was indeed confirmed to be true.
Once costume sellers caught wind of the general consensus that, no, dressing up as a child who is one of the most famous victims of the Holocaust is decidedly NOT something we should encourage children to do, some retailers pulled the costume altogether.
Others, of course, preferring to save face (read: profits), simply retagged the item with catchy new names, like "World War II Evacuee Girl."
Sure, that's better... Or maybe not.
2. "Blade Gunner" Oscar Pistorius
Oscar Pistorius first gained fame as a South African sprinter who, having had both legs amputated below the knee when he was just 11 months old, was the tenth athlete to compete in both the Paralympic Games and the Olympic Games. His fame shifted to notoriety on Valentines Day 2013, when he shot and killed his girlfriend, model Reeva Steenkamp, a crime for which he has been convicted of homicide and is now serving a six-year prison sentence.
This snazzy little number comes complete with not only a green and yellow running uniform reminiscent of the one Pistorius wore in the 2012 London Olympics, but it also includes socks designed to look like his metal prosthetic running limbs and a toy gun.
Following backlash from consumers, Amazon issued an announcement that the offensive costume has been removed from their site entirely.
3. Sexy Border Patrol Police Officer
No, the issue is not the fact that this particular costume is classified as "sexy," although in this case, that categorization certainly doesn't help. But in an environment of increasing political intolerance towards immigrants and concerns regarding what will or will not manifest in regard to President Donald Trump's much feared/loathed/anticipated building of a wall between the United States and Mexico, do we really women parading through Halloween parties dressed as though they are ready to take a refugee down at any given moment?
Personally, I don't think so.
4. Trump's Wall
See inappropriate Halloween costume number 3 above and magnify the offense level by about 1000x. That pretty much sums this one up.
Please everyone, just don't.
5. Anna Rexia
Let's just be painfully clear about this right now. There is nothing sexy or funny whatsoever about eating disorders. Sure, you can guffaw with your pals who may never have experienced what it's like to have one or care about someone who does, but it certainly won't be funny to the woman standing next to you at that party secretly fighting a battle inside of herself that you know nothing whatsoever about. There are more than enough sexy women's costumes out there to keep you looking both hot and hilarious for every Halloween from now through the rest if your life. Choose one of those.
6. Fat Guy
What could possibly be worse than a thin (or fat) woman dressed as an eating disorder? A thin man (or woman) dressed as a fat person. Fat isn't a costume. It isn't a character. It's a measurement of weight and characteristic of human bodies. The kind of human bodies that have hearts and minds and thoughts and feelings that receive more than their fair share of mockery on daily basis. No one needs to body-shame or fat-shame anyone else in order to have the most fun Halloween night ever. No one.
7. Guy Riding Piggyback On A Fat Stripper
Piggyback style costumes are all the rage this year, and I get it! The optical illusion factor makes for some pretty hysterical costume party fun.
But is it at all necessary for a grown man not only to pretend he's riding on the back of a woman, but on the back of a fat woman dressed as a stripper, complete with red g-string and pasties? No, guys. It is unnecessary. And it is offensive. Seriously, seriously offensive. NO.
8. Perverted Aladdin
You know what might just move men light years ahead in their repeated requests for women to stop complaining about them and their sexually predatory behaviors so much? It's pretty simple. They could stop acting like sexual predators! Voila!
Add the act of NOT wearing this incredibly creepy Aladdin costume. No one wants your unsolicited d*ck pics, and no one wants to be accosted by your magic lamp. NO ONE.
9. The Lion-Killing Dentist
On July 1, 2015, Dr. Walter Palmer, an American dentist on safari in Zimbabwe, tracked, shot and killed Cecil the Lion, a majestic 13-year-old male Southwest African lion.
While millionaire Palmer has been spotted out regularly enjoying life in his Porsche as usual, Cecil's breed was added to the endangered species list in order to make it more difficult for U.S. citizens to legally shell out big bucks to slaughter these lions (Palmer reportedly paid $54,000 for the "privilege" murdering Cecil).
You want to dress up as an arrogant dentist? Go for it. Want to be a big, bad hunter. Fine. Does Dr. Palmer need any additional attention and should Cecil's death be diminished into drunken Halloween party fodder? Negative.
10. Any Sexual Predator
Do I really have to explain this one to you?
#metoo
Enough said.
11. Zombie Carrie Fisher... Or Zombie Tom Petty... Or Zombie Any-Recently-Deceased-Celebrity
It's.Just.Too.Soon.
12. "Tequila Bandito"
Refer to inappropriate Halloween costumes #3 (sexy border patrol) and #4 (Trump's wall)... and now add a dash of cultural appropriation, xenophobia, offensive stereotyping, and prejudice against both Mexicans and Mexican-Americans. If you are tired of hearing people complain about white male privilege, maybe don't even consider buying this one or allowing any of your friends to do so either.
13. Anything That Even Hints At Cultural Appropriation...
By all means, PLEASE have fun and enjoy your Halloween! Just not at the expense of others.
Senior Editor and happily-former divorce coach & mediator Arianna Jeret is a recognized expert on love, sex, and relationships (except when it comes to her own life, of course) who has been featured in Cosmopolitan, The Huffington Post, Yahoo Style, Fox News, Bustle, Parents and more. Join her Sundays at 10:20 PM EST for answers to ALL of your questions on Facebook Live on YourTango and follow her on Twitter and Instagram.