9 WEIRD Slang Comments Teens Leave On Kylie Jenner's Instagram (And What They Mean)
We cracked their algorithm hacking code...
Instagram Chances are that if you are a person who spends even a small amount of time online and on social media that you have spent time a portion of that time on Instagram. This social media app is a great way to get a quick peek at what your friends and loved ones are up to.
Another reason people spend so much time on Instagram is that, in addition to letting them know about the latest quilt Aunt Phyllis made for the church sale, they get a glimpse into the private lives of the celebrities they adore.
At least, they feel like they're getting a glimpse into the private lives of the celebrities they adore. I mean, celebs usually post about the salad they just had for lunch and stuff. But then, there's also that comment button, so in theory, you could post a response to your favorite celeb's last selfie that is so funny and riveting your hero actually might read it... AND POSSIBLY RESPOND!
It's enough to make any fangirl worth her metal shiver.
Given that so many people spend such large quantities of time trying to get stars to engage with them on Instagram posts, it makes sense that the comment counts on public figures' photographs tend to run in the hundreds and even the thousands. It can be hard, if not impossible, to siphon through those busy streams to see if anyone LOL'd (laughed out loud) at your witty repartee, and even when you do manage to scroll through a solid portion of them, the words and letters you find there are often confusing AF (as f---).
If you're a real glutton for punishment who wants to feel like an ancient person living beneath a rock back in the stone age, go visit Kylie Jenner on Instagram.
Or Kim Kardashian. Or Kendall Jenner. Or Khloe Kardashian. Or Kourtney.
Visit pretty much any Kardashian or Kardashian-adjacent person's Instagram account and look at the comments on any photo they post. Trust me, in a matter of mere seconds, you will start to see combinations of letters and slang that seem to make NO SENSE.
Tragically, the explanation behind what's going on here isn't that some aliens have taken a serious interest in the Kardashian family, although, my god, I wish that were true. Instead, what you see in the comments on Kylie's super popular account (98.7 million followers and counting) is an Instagram-specific acronyms that can be translated fairly easily once you recognize the pattern.
As explained by Content Marketing Manager Taylor Loren in an article called "How I Hacked the Instagram's Algorithm Like a Teen":
"One glance at Kylie Jenner’s Instagram account, and you’ll notice tens of thousands of one-word comments on every photo: “lb, lb, lb, lb, first, lb, first, first, lb, row.” It’s fascinating. This photo of Kylie Jenner’s dogs has over 300,000 comments, and I’d guess that 90% of them just say 'lb.'"
"Teens use Instagram very differently than adults and businesses do; they favor likes and comments over followers, and will frequently delete photos if they don’t get enough likes. To help each other out, they’ve gathered around the teen Instagram queen Kylie Jenner (and her sister Kendall) to create a sharing economy of Instagram likes.
If you’re a teen and you want to get more likes, all you have to do is visit a recent post on Kylie Jenner’s Instagram and click to view the comments. For every person that comments 'lb,' (which is nearly all of them) just go to their profile, like a photo, and they’ll like one of your photos back. Repeat this until your thumbs get tired, and you’ll have racked up the likes in no time."
Kylie first made her frustration with the trend public in November of 2012.
When the onslaught continued anyway, she grew so annoyed that in August of 2016 she announced via Twitter that she was disabling ALL comments on her Insta.
Taking a look through her posts, the first photo she uploaded with comments disabled was an ad for her makeup line posted on July 31, 2016.
The comments on Kylie's posts came roaring back to life just five days later with the announcement of adorable new puppy Penny.
What can I say? I guess puppies will soften a girl like that...
So now that you know the history behind the seemingly bizarre Instagram slang comments on Kylie's pictures, here's a breakdown of the 9 most common Insta acronyms you'll find there.
1. Lb
Nope. When you see "lb" posted on a comment you are not seeing a strange and unfunny reference to someone's weight. Lb means "like back", which is the commenter's way of letting others know that if you visit their account and like one of their posts, they, in turn, will visit you and like one of yours. It's a form of shameless self-promotion and a little annoying, sure, but it doesn't exactly rise to the level of extreme alien activity I was hoping for.
2. Cb
Nope. Folks aren't pouring one out for their deep and abiding love of the CB radio (unless, perhaps, they are Paris Hilton, who weirdly adores the things). CB is another form of self-promotional slang which, similarly to "lb", implies that if you visit their account and comment on one of their posts, they, in turn, will visit you and comment on one of yours. Kind of pushy, no?
3. Fb
This is one initially had me scratching my head the hardest, because, to me, FB stands for Facebook. Why were all these youths screaming "FACEBOOK!" at Kylie Jenner? It made no sense. Well clearly, it made no sense because that's not what they are doing. FB means "follow back", as in "if you follow me, I will follow you in return." Noticing a pattern here?
4. First
I initially assumed I was hip and cool enough to understand that when people comment "first" on an Instagram post, it means they were the first person to comment and they wanted that fact to be known. Well, wouldn't you? However, I couldn't understand why dozens so many other people were also doing it. There can only be one first comment on any given post, right?
As it turns out, "first" is yet another request to fellow Kylie followers that is similar to "lb" but specifically asking their kindred spirits to like their most recent post in exchange for the same.
5. First for First
This is pretty much exactly the same thing as simply writing "first:, but I suppose for people who don't trust others to know about the whole reciprocity thing. Maybe if everyone simply posted more engaging photos this would not be a thing they feel they need to do, but OK. That's what it means.
6. First Only
This is arguably my favorite item this list. This is a not-so-polite way of requesting that not only should random people head to your account and like your most recent post, but that they should like the first AND ONLY THE FIRST post on your account. Why this matters I know not, but that is because I am a wizened crone. So there you go.
7. Rows
Let's give the people who post the word "rows" some props because rather than timidly suggesting that strangers should like just one of their photographs on Instagram, they are instead asking people to like ROWS of their personal posts. Because what else would everyone do with all that spare time?
8. Rows For Rows
Think "first for first but asking strangers to like "rows for rows." So at least they are making a point of promising to waste their own valuable time in exchange for your waste of yours.
9. Instant
This one doesn't refer to the camper's version of coffee, but rather, and again, to likes. When some posts "Instant" in the comments on one of Kylie's photos, they are offering you an instant "like" in return for the liking of one of their photos. So exactly the same as "lb", but in warp speed ahead mode.
If you ask me, Instagram is pretty weird, and the way people use celebrities' accounts to build up their own "brand" is even weirder, but now you know!
Rebecca Jane Stokes is a sex, humor and lifestyle writer living in Brooklyn, New York with her cat, Batman. She hosts the sex, love, and dating advice show, Becca After Dark on YourTango's Facebook Page every Tuesday and Thursday at 10:20 pm Eastern. For more of her work, check out her Tumblr.