5 Ways To Have Incredible Sex (Even When He Can't Get An Erection)
Yes, really! ED doesn't have to ruin your sex life.
Photo by Pablo Heimplatz on Unsplash If you're experiencing erectile dysfunction, you're not alone, and you have nothing to be ashamed of.
Mild to moderate erectile dysfunction affects 10 percent of men per decade. 20 percent of men in their 20s, 30 percent of men in their 30s, and 40 percent of men in their 40s.
But having trouble getting an erection, or maintaining an erection, doesn't have to kill your sex life. In fact, 65 percent of women don’t orgasm from penetration anyway, so there’s no need for men to be so down on themselves for not being able to get or maintain an erection.
The best sex a woman is going to have has nothing to do with a penis, and according to intimacy coach Amy Color in the Expert video above.
Doubt it? This is proven in one word: lesbians. Yes, lesbians have satisfying sex lives without any penis at all!
So, gentlemen, your erectile dysfunction doesn’t have to stop you from having a fantastic, fulfilled sex life!
There are so many things you can do in order to please your partner and still let yourself feel great in the process. Not attaining an erection does not spell the end of your sex life as you know it. You’re just going to have to try your hand at a few other tricks and find more ways to enjoy that special time with your lover.
Plus, it can be fun and feel awesome to add new ways to pleasure each other to your sex life.
You can be a great lover without having an erection, and here are 5 ways to achieve it:
1. Always be prepared.
Since erectile dysfunction doesn’t let you know beforehand when it’s going to happen, you’re going to have to have a backup plan for when the situation arises. Research and practice ways to please your partner for when the inevitable happens.
And be confident! It can feel shameful or embarrassing if you’re suddenly unable to perform, but that doesn’t have to mean that sex can’t happen, and you don’t need to be ashamed. Just make sure you’re less focused on le petit mort and more focused on having a good time with your lover, and things can still be amazing.
2. Embrace that variety is the spice of life.
Men tend to think of sex only as penetration, and often take “variety” to mean multiple partners, but Color insists that this doesn’t have to be the case.
Let kink and sex toys and other exploratory means of enjoying each other be your “variety.” Learn new tools to add to your tool belt, experiment with new toys or sexual ideas, and find what works for you both.
Even if you can’t become fully erect, you’re bound to have a fantastic time either way.
3. Always have protection.
Make sure you’re prepared for whatever may arise, so always have a condom, whether you think it will happen or not! As Amy Color says, sex is a full-contact sport. Always bring your protective gear.
4. Find and eliminate performance stressors.
Some men are so fearful of the idea of "failing" at sex that it can actually paralyze them and not allow them to achieve an erection at all. It’s important that you develop stress-relieving techniques to help calm you down so that you can enjoy sex.
If you don’t feel comfortable or can’t figure out a way to get rid of some of that performance pressure, remember there is no shame in seeking help from a professional.
5. Let go of insecurities!
Whatever form you’re in, erect or flaccid, don't let it bother you. It’s going to feel good if someone is touching and caressing you, and you should focus on the pleasure!
According to Color, men can still orgasm even in a flaccid state, and many women even enjoy touching and giving oral sex more when this occurs.
Why? It can help keep women from choking while they perform oral sex, and can be great for women with sensitive gag reflexes. It can relieve performance pressure since you’re just trying to do what feels good, rather than work toward an end goal.
Regardless of how your erectile dysfuction came to be, or the form that it's in, please remember that you can still have a fantastic sex life and give your partner deep pleasure.
Whether you experience this or any other sexual issue, Amy Color would love to hear from you and to offer her help. You can contact her here.