10 Strange Things People Do That Actually Mean They're Healing
Healing works in mysterious ways.
LOOK | Canva It is easy to dwell on the past, especially your mistakes. But when you start forgiving yourself, others will notice some things change for the better.
From leaving toxic relationships to focusing on the future instead of the past, there are ways your life will shift as you forgive yourself and heal from past mistakes. Forgiveness can help us let go of the emotional baggage we carry and bring back the pieces of ourselves we leave behind with every unpleasant experience we have gone through.
Here are 10 strange things people do that actually mean they're healing:
1. Not dwelling on the past
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You start to realize that you’re no longer telling stories, remembering conversations, or crying over heartbreaks from your past. This doesn’t mean that you forget all of those memories, but you understand that you can’t change the past, and the only thing you can do is learn from it. You know that forgiving yourself means that you need to focus on your present moment instead of mourning the sad things from your past life.
According to research from The Journal of Research In Personality, healing from past pain or traumatic experiences is not something that happens overnight. It is a process that requires patience, dedication, and a commitment to change.
When we experience a painful event such as betrayal or other traumatic experiences, it can rewire us for self-preservation. We may live in “fight or flight” mode, constantly anticipating more pain in our lives, which can be unconsciously welcomed through our actions.
2. Achieving their goals
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You will find yourself busy pursuing dreams—whether it’s about your career, education, or overall life. You start to explore and discover more about yourself and your surroundings.
Being busy is also your own distraction to get over your mistakes from the past and when you start to forgive yourself, you start to believe in your potential to reach all of your dreams.
3. Meeting new people
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Forgiving yourself also means that you are ready to meet some new people in your life. You will realize that you spend less time with the people from your past and you will engage more with the people from the present.
You will embrace new experiences as well and you will be brave about taking chances, including the chance to fall in love with people all over again.
4. Voicing your needs and wants
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When you forgive yourself, everything becomes clear as you start to acknowledge your needs and find who you truly are. You will put self-love and your own well-being above any huge decisions in your life.
You will stop beating yourself up with negative thoughts and anxiety. You totally understand that forgiving yourself is the same thing as loving yourself.
5. Leaving a toxic relationship
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Forgiving yourself also means that you no longer allow anybody to abuse you or your inner being. You know your worth and you will never hesitate to leave those relationships which only make you suffer.
You also learn from your past that trusting and loving the wrong people can be the worst mistake that you’ve ever done in your life, so when you forgive yourself, you will try your best to avoid those toxic people.
6. Starting to recognize your emotions on a daily basis
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When you forgive yourself, you will be more in tune with your own emotions. It will be easier for you to feel, accept, and admit the emotions that emerge on a daily basis.
For you, the emotions that emerge are not weaknesses and you will realize that those are the things you should embrace. You will be proud of your emotions as they will grow your empathy towards others as well.
7. Not comparing your life to others
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Because you’re happy with your current life. When you forgive yourself, your life feels easy and everything seems like it’s falling into place.
You start to let things happen the way they should and you totally understand that everyone is struggling just as hard as you. Forgiving yourself makes you feel more grateful for the simple things.
8. Being fearless when it comes to making mistakes
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You understand that a mistake is not something to be scared of because humans are designed to learn from them. Forgiving yourself will not only make you able to solve problems, but also to find humor in difficult situations.
You realize that you can always get back up from failures and that forgiving yourself is the key to making you stronger than before. Our civilization recognizes that errors can be valuable learning opportunities, but for decades, they have widely been avoided or, at best, allowed to occur as serendipitous accidents.
Recent research from the Journal of Educational Psychology suggests that avoiding errors in learning may only sometimes be optimal. Instead, deliberate erring is a powerful strategy to enhance meaningful learning. We discuss implications for educational practice in redesigning conventional approaches to errors: To err is human; to deliberately err is divine.
9. Identifying what you regret
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When you forgive yourself, you can admit your mistakes and identify your past and you learn not to repeat it. You know that you’ve made bad decisions, but you also understand that everything happens the way it’s meant to. Thus, forgiving yourself makes you ready to start over, even though there is no guarantee that you will ever save yourself from being broken.
10. Making peace with your flaws
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Because forgiving yourself also means that you accept who you truly are, inside and out. You will stop blaming yourself or others for the things which didn’t go as planned and you accept everything that life has to offer.
Forgiving yourself makes you able to love others and work harder than before without having high expectations about everything. In the end, when you know that forgiving yourself is the hardest thing in life, but you’re still trying to do it anyway, that’s the exact moment when you begin to live your life to the fullest.
Rayi Noormega is a contributor to YourTango who writes about love and relationships.