The Brilliant, Subtle Changes You Can Make (Like, Now) To Find Your Forever Love

About two years ago, I was approached to do a reality TV show about single moms dating. They came to my house and filmed me for the day, asking me about all my glamorous dates, boyfriends, trips to exotic places, ya know, all the stuff everyday single moms get to do… Clearly, I was boring.

That show never made it beyond the pilot. I realized it was because it was utter nonsense. Let’s be real! In reality, most single moms over 40 are not living the glamorous, jet-setting, out every night at parties lifestyle that the show wanted to convey. I’m actually glad it didn’t make it. We have enough reminders in the media that we aren’t living up to the standards society has set for us.
 

All that got me thinking about singles in America.

Not just single parents, but singles over 40. Divorce rates are high, people are waiting to get married, and dating and relationships have changed a lot since my first date as a teen — and even more as I lived in marital bliss in my 30s.

Until of course, that bliss ended and I found myself single and trying to navigate online dating sites, singles events, and really horrible pick-up lines at the grocery store. Those lines would have probably worked on my 20-year-old single self, but the 40-year-old was a lot more cynical, jaded, and busy to deal with a man’s lack of creativity. I went on some horrible dates with probably great men who were definitely not right for me.

The idea that I should just “wait for the magic to happen” didn’t fit in with the fact that I wasn’t 20 anymore. Did I have time to “let it happen?” Should I be proactive in my search? How the heck would I do that?

After a wonderful dinner party with fifteen of my female friends, all of us single and over 40, I wondered “What’s wrong with us?!”  We’re all smart, successful, good-looking, funny... everything a good man could ask for, and yet here we are on a Friday night, hanging out with each other.

Why is more than 30 percent of the US population single and over 40? That is a shocking number. There are more singles over 40 now than there have ever been. As I queried my merry band of femme fatales, I got similar answers.

“The good ones are taken.” “I’m too old.” “I have to lower my standards.” 

Was this true? Had I passed my prime? Was I destined to be single for the rest of my life?

That was depressing. I like men; I desire companionship and romance and love. That part of me wasn’t quite complete and wasn’t willing to surrender to Friday night wine with the girls, Saturday movie nights, and Sunday walks on the beach with my dog. Don’t get me wrong, I love my dog, but he’s just not the furry chest I wanted to roll onto at night and snuggle with.

I always start a project out of curiosity and as a single woman over 40 (at the time), I wanted to know what I really needed to do to finally find lasting love…

So I got "radical"… and it worked!

Then I met David Steele, founder of Relationship Coaching Institute who shared his Conscious Dating coaching program with me.

Together, we decided to see what would happen if we put five different people — all single and over 40 — through the program on camera.

You’ll have to watch to see what happens!

David Steele explains Radical Dating

What is Radical Dating?

"Dating" sucks, and few singles enjoy the process of finding a partner but don't know what else to do. Enter Radical Dating.

Radical Dating is a revolutionary approach to dating involving a specific mindset, dating strategies, self-discovery, life choices, understanding of relationships, and some basic skills needed for successful dating and relationships.

The rules for dating have clearly changed, but we don’t know what the new rules are. We want happy, fulfilling relationships, yet we don’t know how to make them happen.

It makes sense that relationship success starts when you’re single. The choices you make when you’re single determine the outcome of your relationship.

We’re wired for exclusive, long-term partnership. We want to find and grow old with the love of our life. Yet when we’re single and dating, we often don’t believe it’s possible or realistic and make choices that sabotage getting what we really want.

After all, as Napoleon Hill said, “What you believe, you can achieve,” and if you don’t believe, you are guaranteed not to achieve it. The disconnect between what we really want and how we date is the biggest problem in dating today.

So what is "Radical Dating?"

It is being unapologetically strong and honest about who you are and what you really want.

It is being willing to say “No” to everything and everybody that doesn’t align with the life and relationship of our dreams.

It is believing in ourselves and our ability to live happily ever after with the love of our life.

It is committing to our happiness and success by taking risks and leaving our comfort zone because we can't achieve our dreams from the safety of our couch.

It is not a quick fix but can get amazingly quick results. 

It has no guarantees other than your personal happiness and fulfillment.

It is simple, but not easy.

It is being the pioneer of your life and embracing the journey of finding lasting love from the inside out.

David and I are excited to share our new series Radical Dating.

In this series, you’ll follow along as our five singles dig deep into their own hearts and desires, learn the tools necessary to create the life they truly want to live and find the relationship that fulfills their dreams. It’s not easy. It’s emotional, it’s frustrating, and some don’t even succeed. You’ll be there the whole way. You’re invited to participate each week, and in addition to the episode, there will be blogs, quizzes, worksheet so you can get radical, too!

Watch our trailer, meet our cast and coaches and join us on September 26th as we launch Radical Dating! Who knows? In 10 weeks (right before Christmas), you may be in the arms of your forever love!

You can visit our Radical Dating page here!

Betsy Chasse is an award-winning film maker (What The Bleep Do We Know?!, Pregnant In America) and best-selling author (Tipping Sacred Cows, Dancing In The Unknown). She is the Producer/Director of Radical Dating. Learn more about Radical Dating here.  Created in partnership with One Two Cosmetics.