7 Ways To Orgasm Every Single Time (No Matter How Bad The Sex Is)

When it comes to intercourse for us women folk, orgasm can remain rather elusive. Less than 30 percent of women report being able to have regular orgasms during intercourse. This is a depressingly low number, compared to data from 2009 that shows 91 percent of men orgasm during intercourse and 2014 data that shows 85 percent achieve orgasm.

Why is the orgasm gap so enormous? Well, it has everything to do with the clitoris. Two in 3 women require clitoral stimulation to orgasm, and most of us don’t get it when we’re having P in the V sex.

What are we to do? Well, there is actually a lot we can do if we want to learn how to orgasm from sex. If we want to have more orgasms we need to take our pleasure and sexual empowerment into our own hands. Here are 7 tips to get you to orgasm every single time. (Well, maybe not every single time, but to greatly increase your chances!)

1. Look at a diagram of your vulva.

First things first, look up a picture of your vulva. Check out where the clitoris is. Guess what? You actually can’t physically see the entire clitoris. Most of the clitoris, including the internal wings and vestibular bulbs, are internal. The clitoris is an iceberg — all the best stuff lies under the surface.

Most women find that the external glans are the most sensitive area of the clitoris, but the rest of it below provides tons of pleasure as well. We don’t learn anything about our bodies in school so we have to figure out for ourselves. Take some time to look and touch your vulva to figure out where everything is and what feels good.

2. Masturbate regularly.

Masturbation is how you learn about what makes you orgasm. If you can’t make yourself orgasm, no one else is going to. If you don't know what you want, how can you expect a partner to blindly figure it out? That just isn’t logical.

Masturbation also breeds internal confidence. This is important when you’re having sex. If you don’t feel comfortable, you won’t be able to relax enough to focus on your orgasm. Sex is a vulnerable activity. You’re naked and worried about how you look, sound, and feel. The more confidence you can amp up, the better.

3. Get a couples sex toy.

A great and easy way to get clitoral stimulation is by using a couples vibrator.

Options: You can get something wearable that hooks under the labia and sits on the clitoris, such as Eva from Dame products. There are couples vibrators that hook inside the vagina and also sit atop the clitoris like the We Vibe Sync. Lastly, you can get a small finger vibe such as the Pocket Toyfriend or a wearable hand vibrator like Fin.

Sometimes bringing a vibrator into the bedroom can be intimidating, especially for men. Have a conversation about how hot it would be to bring something in for extra “oomph.” Men are weird about their penises. They think anything additional must mean they aren’t good enough. This simply isn’t true.

Your man can have the most beautiful penis in the world and be unable to hit your clitoris. It’s just basic anatomy. Have a conversation and let him know that this isn’t about him not being good at sex, it’s about wanting to orgasm with him. Plus, if you’re enjoying sex more, he’ll get to have sex more. Again, logic.

4. Stress the importance of cunnilingus.

Like we said, you need to have confidence in your body to be able to ask for oral sex. It can be a scary thing, but we cannot stress the importance enough. It helps you have orgasms and also to lubricate the vagina before sex. As one friend put it to me the other day, “Try going down a waterslide without the water and you might see how important foreplay is.”

Tell your man what you need. Fully impress upon him how cunnilingus is on the forefront of your pleasure frontier. Offer to return the favor; after all, everyone should get some oral sex. It’s part of what makes sex so fun.

5. Touch yourself during sex.

If you’d rather get some manual clitoral stimulation, go for it. Touching yourself during sex is super-hot and shows that you know what you like.

If your partner gets weird about it, just have the same conversation you did about the couples toys. You need your clitoris to be touched during sex. If he’d rather do it for you, by all means, give that a try.

6. Choose sex positions that actually work for you.

Figuring out how to get your clitoris straight up in on the action during intercourse requires a bit of trial and error. Every woman likes different positions. Some love cowgirl, while others think it's too exhausting. Some love missionary because of the coital alignment technique, but others don’t quite get there.

Try out a bunch of different positions and pay special attention to where your clitoris makes contact. You want to choose something that gets it fully involved. Whether that be grinding against your partner's pubic bone or penis, or having his penis hit up against your G-spot (which is still part of the clitoris), it’s all about what works for you. Every single clitoris and every single body is different. There is no one-size-fits all.

7. Tell your partner when something isn’t working for you.

If you want to learn how to orgasm from sex each time, you have to speak up. You must tell your partner when something isn’t quite working or straight up is miserable.

This doesn’t mean saying, “Babe. This position sucks so hard.” You don’t have to be rude or mean about it. Straightforward does not equal mean. Try something a little less harsh such as, “Baby, let’s do that X position. It is so good for me.”

In the end, your partner wants you to have orgasms too. It’s a process to learn what works for each of your bodies. Take the time to openly communicate so you can have the best sex of your life.

For even more information on the female orgasm, check out the video below: