Why Believing In The 'Law Of Attraction' Makes You A Terrible Parent
Dispelling the myth of manifestation.
fizkes / Shutterstock There has been a huge movement over the past few years around how we can manifest things in our lives by using the power of our thoughts.
Many of us watched "The Secret" or read about "The Law of Attraction" and we've bought into a lie about the power of our thoughts to manipulate the future into giving us what we do want and avoiding what we don't want.
This idea can then create fear and anxiety around what we think and what might happen to ourselves and our children if we don't get it right. It can also lead to blaming and shaming as we assume that when bad things happen to people it is somehow their fault for not being more vigilant with their internal world.
Does manifesting work? The answer is "no."
Here are five reasons believing in the law of attraction might be destroying your parenting:
1. There is no 'future'
Time is an illusion. There is only now. Past, present, and future all exist simultaneously.
Scientists have already proven this to be the case. So where is this future that you are going to manifest in?
There cannot be cause and effect as this requires a linear passage of time in order for it to be valid.
2. By observation, you can see that not everything you think comes true
Plenty of things happen that you never thought about. Our thoughts are not creating our future reality.
They are not attracting or repelling objects and people into or out of our future lives.
3. You are intricately connected to everything and everyone else
How can you believe that your desire will manifest something that will then affect thousands of people you don’t even know?
There is a much much bigger picture of which you are a part and what is or isn’t in your life is part of a perfection that you will never fully understand with your limited human perspective.
4. Who is the 'you' that is supposedly having these thoughts?
You are definitely not your body or brain. You literally have a new body every seven years.
All your cells are constantly being replaced. And you can't be the voice in your head either. If you watch this you will see that "your" voice keeps changing.
Sometimes you think in your "own" voice, sometimes in the voice of your mother, sometimes it’s a group of voices. Which one is "you?"
And where are these thoughts arising from? What you think of as "you" is better understood as a character that you have temporarily identified with.
5. The very idea of manifestation implies a lack of true appreciation for the present
For example, perhaps you have thought that your child will become a drug addict. This doesn't turn him into an addict in the future, even if you think it over and over again. So you can stop worrying about your worrying.
However, what it does do is turn him into a drug addict right now — in your mind.
And this prevents you from being present with the real live beautiful person in front of you while you battle with an imaginary problematic child in an illusory future.
The power of thought to shape the present
Your thoughts are very powerful. But not in manifesting everything you think about in the future.
They're manifesting it now. In your mind — in the present.
They have the power to make this moment, the only moment you have for sure, either pleasant or unpleasant. And thereby affect the quality of your life. Now.
Let go of your future worry and focus on now.
Once you see that this moment is already whole and perfect and beyond what you could ever hope to manifest with your thoughts, then you will truly live an incredible life … no matter what does or doesn’t come about.
Mia Von Scha is a transformational parenting coach, author, and counselor who helps parents overcome the fear of failure and navigate anxiety, as well as other mental health issues.