3 Secret Reasons Men Don't Commit
And how to make him.
Flotsam / Shutterstock You've been with a guy for a while, but you see no signs of commitment.
There are 3 big reasons why men don't commit. Fortunately for you, they are all things you can do something about.
While he may have many excuses as to why he can't commit right now, the solution boils down to these 3 secrets:
1. There's no risk of losing you.
When you live with a guy or spend all your time at his place, you're basically a free wife.
The first reason why he won't commit to you is that there's no risk of losing you. The main reason a man takes on the responsibility of marrying you is that he doesn't want to lose you.
It's as simple as that. In their minds, why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free? This brings us to the second reason.
2. He's too comfortable.
When he's already getting all the sex and companionship he wants from you without taking on any responsibility, then it means that he's too comfortable.
He may blame his job, or his financial situation, or use any other number of excuses. However, if a man really wants something, he will move heaven and earth to get it.
But if he's already getting you for free, then the real problem is that he's too comfortable.
3. You put everything on the table.
The good news is that you have a solution. It's time to take things off the table.
There's only one way for a guy to find out that he can't live without you and that is the risk of losing you.
If you're ready to take things off the table, the first and the biggest thing to take off the table is sex.
Say, "I've really enjoyed our year plus of being together. However, I don't feel comfortable continuing to have sex without an engagement ring and/or an agreement for a wedding date within the next six months to a year. What do you think?"
I know it's a mouthful. However, if there's no risk of losing you and he's too comfortable, and you don't take things off the table, chances are that nothing is going to change.
You're going to meet resistance. He may even pull away or decide to break up with you. Whatever it is, be patient, hold your ground, don't argue with him, and let him figure it out.
In the end, this is not about him. It's about your own self-worth and self-value. The reason why men don't commit is that they don't feel they have to. The reason they do commit is that you require it and you're worth it.
If he's up for the challenge he's your man. If not, he's someone else's boy.
James Allen Hanrahan is a dating and relationship coach for women based in Los Angeles and the author of Dating Advice for Alpha Women.