The REAL Reasons She Doesn't Want A Threesome With You (So Don't Push It)
Why walk in the danger zone?
weheartit I've played with the idea of a threesome a time or two, but I've never been able to go through with it and while it doesn't seem like a topic you'd give much consideration to after deciding one way or another — I have.
In deciding that I didn't want to, I asked myself why, and it's not that I would never or don't want to, it's simply that it wouldn't happen in my own relationship. But deep down, I think this is how most women feel regarding threesomes.
My theory is that we're either all too insecure, or we just know "man" and "pig" are synonymous. Regardless, a smart woman will always follow this gut feeling and chances are she'll tell you 'no.' I say 'smart,' because why go through with any sexual act that's going to make you so crazy later on that it ends up ruining your relationship anyway?
While I'd like to believe that I could bring myself to be the third wheel (and even enjoy doing so) in a threesome, I'm absolutely positive I could never have a third wheel come into my own bedroom.
As a woman human being, we tend to be possessive despite the constant debate on whether we're meant to be monogamous, and I know myself well enough to know that anyone I care about enough to call my man is not someone I need to explore that openly with.
Unless everyone is ready to meet the green monster that lives within, and I do mean monster.
Many women struggle with the insecurity or jealousy, and smart women know their boundaries and recognize that they do not feel confident enough to bring an additional person into the bedroom with their partner because of their own internal problems. This is something that you, as her partner, should never challenge as just being "wrong" as with any decision she makes concerning sex.
While you are absolutely capable of reassuring your partner why you think these things won't happen, if they say 'no,' then you definitely shouldn't push it, either.
There are one too many what-ifs that would be lingering in the back of my mind, and more specifically, these 5 'what-ifs' are probably thoughts that any girl in this position has considered, too.
1. What if ... he likes him/her better.
The biggest concern of mine is that the only thing men enjoy more than sex is new sex. That said, a threesome leaves waaaaay too much chance, and I'm not sure I'd be comfortable wondering if my sex was adequate enough for my s.o. after bringing something different into our bedroom.
No new friends, right Drake?
2. Hell. What if I like them better?
My boyfriend might not be too upset, but it seems like that could be pretty confusing for myself. I don't know. And, on the off chance that my boyfriend does feel threatened, that's no good for either of us.
3. What if ... he begins seeing her privately.
Piggybacking off my previous point: if my partner does enjoy sex with our third wheel, then I also might begin stressing about if they're seeing this person behind my back without any mutual agreement.
4. What if ... I get pissed off ... mid-action.
Remember that green monster? Well, there's a good chance that it could just turn into straight rage. The thought alone of watching my boyfriend with another woman gets me super pissed. (Obvi, a sign that it shouldn't even get this far.)
5. What if ... it's just plain old awkward.
Sex can already have its awkward moments, but should you bring in someone else, well, you've now tripled the odds of awkwardness. Maybe even more than that considering the circumstances — I imagine that being a third wheel in the bedroom is a lot more awkward than just being the third wheel at the mall.
Sorry but not a fan.