6 Ways To Pick Up The Pieces After A REALLY Terrible Breakup

Moving on and taking a risk on love again after a heartbreak can feel like mission impossible

After a heartbreak occurs, we can become so fearful of love that we shut it out completely. It's understandable for a while, but as time goes on, we need to pick up the pieces of our lives and find happiness again.

Putting ourselves out there again and running into the possibility of getting turned down, making a mistake, losing a friendship, finding ourselves getting judged, or getting the feeling of not being good enough are all scary things.

We may ask ourselves: "Is it all worth the risk? Is it worth going through all the obstacles with no guarantee of a happy ending?"

There are moments in life the answer will be NO, but when time passes, the longing for a companion, lover, and friend will become stronger.

The next six things are things you can do to get over a heartbreak, to get ready and prepare for a new start, no matter how scary that may sound at the moment:

1. Give yourself the time to grieve the relationship.

You lost someone who was important to you. Acknowledge that and don't pretend it never happened. If you need to wallow for a bit then do that, just watch that you don't drown in it.

Grieving is a natural method of saying goodbye to something we lost. Your relationship was important to you, otherwise you wouldn't end up with heartbreak but with relief, so take your time.     

2. Be honest, and find out what was your part in the breakup. 

It is always easy to blame the other, but by taking responsibility of your contribution to the breakup, you examine the mistakes you made and you can learn from them.

Action is reaction. When you know what went wrong, you can prevent the same mistake happening in the next relationship.    

3. Block every contact with your ex, including the social media part.

By deleting every contact option, you make a clear break and withstand the temptation to slip and send a message. You don't know what they are saying on Facebook about you or what they are up to in the weekends. Out of sight will become out of mind.

4. Say "yes" to new things that come your way.

Step out and explore what the world has to offer on things you haven't done yet. This creates the opportunity to establish a new fun routine and makes the "out of sight" theory into a practice.

5. Break down the risk you want to take into small steps that are less scary.

If jumping off a 30-feet cliff is too much for you, then start with the high board of a pool and work your height up from there. The trick is to do SOMETHING, it doesn't matter what it is or how small.

6. Have fun, be playful, and laugh.

Life becomes easier when we can play and have fun. Find your fun and playfulness and take it out for a spin. Laughter is the best medicine for heartbreak.

Do the best you can and some days are easier than others, but trust that you are strong enough to get through this. People around you may help you, but ultimately it is you who has to do it. Good Luck.

Ellen Nyland is a Certified Coach who thrives on giving clients the tools, strength and resources to tackle all the challenges life throws at us. Contact Ellen Nyland for a free 30 min one on one, to find out how she can help you.