There Are Only 3 Primary Male Personality Types — And Just One Ideal Partner For Each Of Them
Discovering these types of men gets you closer into understanding the values and deeper needs of each.
Getty Images To make a man fall in love with you, it comes down to understanding his personality type. By-and-large, we can all be sorted into general categories that have less to do with how we look or dress and more to do with how we behave and who we really are.
For many women, men of all personality types may be a bit of a puzzle. Still, knowing more about specific personality types that many men fall into can help you give the guy you're interested in what needs from you most. And, in turn, he’s likely to do the same for you.
Here are three personality types men fall into — and the ideal woman for each.
1. The Conserver Personality Type
The Conserver is a man focused on security. He wants to self-preserve beyond all else. He usually owns many possessions and lives a life of stability. He’s a planner and enjoys being in control.
Women grow frustrated with the Conserver because of his need for independence. His daily life revolves around time, money, and his physical needs, and typically not around romance.
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Though he’s often seen as selfish, he shares his resources with his significant other. In fact, one reason he’s so concerned with stability is so he can provide a predictable future for himself and his family.
As a boyfriend or husband, the Conserver is serious, with a tendency to be guarded and spend time alone. This requires his partner to be flexible, understanding, and comfortable in their own skin.
The man you love is a Conserver if:
- He comes off more serious than other men you dated.
- He tends to need a bit more space than normal.
- He's overly concerned with money, the future or his health.
The Conserver's ideal woman helps him appreciate the little things in life — the smell of flowers, the feel of rain, a completed crossword puzzle — while supporting his long-term goals. Above all, she opens herself up to trusting him completely.
2. The Connector Personality Type
The Connector is in love with life. Food, passion, and the occasional adrenaline boost are driving forces for him.
He craves intensity and prefers living in the moment, one minute at a time. He’s more likely to plan a skydiving trip than his future, and he's less concerned about money and self-preservation than concerned with making an impact.
Women grow frustrated with the Connector because he can be lackadaisical about responsibilities. Maybe not entirely, but he’ll put them to the side for a good story. Still, he’s usually charismatic, social, and not prone to conflict.
As a boyfriend or husband, the Connector relishes bonding. He wants a relationship that is in sync and places a high value on all types of physical intimacy. When things don’t work out, he takes it personally, and in his worst states he can be needy or insecure in relationships.
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The man you love is a Connector if:
- He behaves more in line with traditional gender roles — opens doors, buys flowers, takes off your jacket.
- He tends to lean in to connect during conflict, rather than withdraw.
- He's adventurous and initiates creating special moments with you.
His ideal woman makes him feel attractive and desirable. She spends one-on-one time with him and is gentle with his self-esteem, lifting him up with encouragement and adoration. She acknowledges him for both big and little acts, and allows him to come first in her life.
3. The Collaborator Personality Type
The Collaborator is a people-pleaser. He's a socialite who enjoys being liked by everyone.
He tends to be cooperative and gets along with friends and family, even if that means biting his own tongue. His social status defines him, at least in part, and he cultivates it any way he can.
The Collaborator, at his best, typically aligns himself with a meaningful cause in life. At his worst, he can get pulled into gossip.
Women grow frustrated with the Collaborator because he goes along with the crowd. He wants to fit in and will do what he needs to accomplish this, even if it comes at the cost of the woman he's seeing.
That said, he’s great at bringing people together and highly values equality in a relationship — something women can’t help but find appealing.
As a boyfriend or husband, the Collaborator feels responsible for the emotions of his partner (as well as others) and values loyalty. He’s easy to please, and often up for either a night on the town or one between the sheets... or something else altogether. He’s also giving and will sacrifice his happiness for the contentment of others.
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The man you love is a Collaborator if:
- He's very conscious of having a tribe and participating in a community.
- He cares deeply about mutuality in the relationship (sharing, working together as a team).
- He has a hectic social life and a calendar full of engagements.
His ideal woman helps him feel accepted. She values who he is, what he does, and acknowledges his worth to her (and those around him). His social supports need to be supported; thus, his partner should also be a bit of a people person. A loner and a social butterfly don’t mix well together, after all.
Keeping the above in mind is helpful; if men and women only understand each other a bit more, dating, marriage, and this thing called love grows a lot easier.
As you can see, there is no one-size-fits-all solution to attracting men. However, discovering these three types of men gets you closer into understanding the values and deeper needs of each guy.
When you know what your man needs, that he may not be able to ask for, you can show up as the woman in his life that "gets him" better than any partner he's been with to date.
Clayton Olson is an International Relationship Coach, Master NLP Practitioner, and Facilitator specializing in dating, empowering men and women, self-esteem, and life transitions. He has 20 years of experience working to optimize human behavior and relational dynamics.