6 Evolutionary Differences Between Men And Women That Honestly Explain Everything
It’s about more than just toilet seat preferences.
evablancophotos | Canva Humankind has spent an inordinate amount of time trying to figure out the differences between the genders. After all these centuries, men still find women mysterious and women still marvel at how closed off emotionally men can be. Haven’t we learned anything over the years? Is there no genetic or emotional blueprint we can use to explain why men and women act SO differently in a relationship?
Although no easy roadmap to the genders exists, there is some information we can glean when we look at the unique biological, sociological, and evolutionary qualities of men and women. Senior VP of YourTango Experts Melanie Gorman asked a group of our relationship Experts — T-Ann Pierce, Clara Wisner, Kathryn Foster, and Helen Fisher — for their opinions on the major things we need to consider when we look at the physical and emotional divide between the genders.
Here are six evolutionary differences between men and women that explain everything:
1. Men and women evolved differently
Vija Rindo Pratama | Pexels
This is just a biological fact. For eons, men’s brains were fashioned to fit their jobs — hunting and protecting their pack from enemies. To accomplish those tasks, they had to learn to detach, to suspend their empathy.
Meanwhile, women’s brains developed much more relational roles. Women gave birth, they worked in communal environments. The way men and women’s brains evolved over the centuries plays a role in how they relate today.
That’s why women often want more empathic dialogue from their men, and men feel criticized because they don’t have the same emotional capacity. It’s just how they’re wired. Research published by Frontiers in Psychology suggests that men and women evolved different traits due to differing reproductive challenges. Females prioritize high-quality offspring by being more selective with mates.
In contrast, males evolved to compete for access to females, leading to tendencies like increased aggression and risk-taking behavior. These differences are seen in physical characteristics, mating strategies, and cognitive abilities, with females often showing more parental investment and males focusing on maximizing reproductive opportunities.
2. Those evolutionary differences don’t make things easy
Mikhail Nilov | Pexels
Another issue to consider is something bioenergetic and quantum nutritionist Clara Wisner calls “evolutionary mismatch.” That refers to the fact that men's and women’s bodies and brains have evolved for vastly different environments than they’re living in today.
Most men don’t hunt for a living anymore and not every woman now needs to procreate or hold a relational role. This can cause anxiety and confusion for men and women, but openly talking about those feelings of mismatch can help bring more peace and harmony into a relationship.
3. Men and women don’t always agree on physical intimacy and romance
Vanessa Garcia | Pexels
Because men developed without the same capacity for empathetic dialogue as women, the two genders often have very different opinions when it comes to assigning significance to physical intercourse and relationships. For example, men are four times more likely than women to believe that physical and emotional intimacy are the same thing.
That being said, there have also been several modern studies that actually say that men fall in love faster than women do. So men and women need to realize that, when they talk about romance, they might have a completely different definition than their partner — which is why communication is SO important.
Early research published in the Journal of Personality and Individual Differences indicates that women prioritize emotional intimacy and communication in romantic relationships. At the same time, men often place more emphasis on physical intimacy and attraction, with significant variations existing within each gender due to individual differences and cultural influences. This means women may value deeper emotional connection and open communication as key aspects of romance, whereas men may prioritize physical attraction.
4. Gender isn’t everything
Gustavo Fring | Pexels
While, yes, there are big differences between men and women — mentally and biologically — it’s important to recognize that some things are bigger than gender. We are more than just men and women. We are also individuals.
If you’re trying to study the evolutionary variances between genders, you also have to take bio-individuality into account. Because there are differences between ALL human beings, not just men and women.
5. Social influences have a bigger role to play
Dody Ahmad | Pexels
Gender social influences refer to how societal expectations and norms based on gender can impact how individuals interact with others. Research from the Society for the Psychological Study of Social Issues shows that men generally have more social influence than women due to stereotypes associating masculinity with power and authority.
This leads to different communication styles, leadership behaviors, and opinions in various social situations. Efforts to challenge gender stereotypes and promote gender equality can gradually shift social norms and influence dynamics.
6. The relationship between men and women evolves over the years
Yasmin Luisa Krug | Pexels
This is a particularly important thing for long-term couples to understand. If a couple gets married in their 20s and quickly figures out their differences, they need to realize that their relationship will continue to change and evolve with every major life milestone they encounter.
Careers, having children, dealing with retirement or disability — all of those issues can completely change the relationship between a couple on so many levels. They need to realize that part of the evolution of their romance will involve them continuing to reveal themselves to each other, over and over again, as they grow and change throughout time.
A 2018 study indicates that relationships tend to evolve, transitioning from an initial passionate stage marked by intense feelings and novelty to a more companionate love focused on deep connection, shared experiences, and commitment. Significant changes often occur as couples navigate life stages like marriage, parenthood, and career advancements. However, this evolution is not always linear and can be influenced by individual factors and the quality of communication within the relationship.
Just remember — women and men have had a symbiotic relationship since the beginning of humankind. Yes, they can annoy each other, and, yes, they will not always understand each other, but the more we talk about and acknowledge the differences between the genders, the easier it will be to eventually find common ground.
Tom Burns is a writer who has been featured on Babble, Brightly, Mom.me, Time Magazine, Reading Rainbow, The Huffington Post, xoJane, and various other sites.