The Real Stuff Men Wish You Knew About Your Boobs
...and why they like them.
LTim / Shutterstock Men love boobs.
The sun also rises in the east.
These are facts that are easily confirmed.
I've talked to men about their passion for big boobs and little boobs, all kinds of boobs, and they've always been happy to open up.
But what I haven't asked men is what they wish we knew about our own boobs.
It makes sense, after all. They are OUR boobs, shouldn't we conceivably know them better than the backs of our own hands?
Survey says yes.
But sometimes an outsider's perspective can teach us something.
Especially if that outsider considers themselves an "expert" on the body part in question, too.
So I asked a group of anonymous men what they wished women knew about their boobs.
They had A LOT to say on the subject.
1. "I can't look at them. I'm not trying to be rude, but if they are there, I will look."
2. "When a woman is wearing a low-cut top, I know she wants me to see her boobs and that's hot to me."
3. "If a woman's boobs are big, but she seems embarrassed by them, it's worse than her having no boobs at all."
4. "If she's wearing nude lipstick I wonder if it's the same color as her nipples."
5. "We can tell if they are different sizes."
6. "Please stop stuffing."
7. "We all want to motorboat you all of the time."
8. "I don't care about your boobs. I care about your lips."
9. "We don't actually care how big they are. If they exist, we like them."
10. "My wife's boobs changed after she had a baby. They're different but just as sexy. I wish she knew."
11. "Big is cool, but I'll take real over a bad boob job any day."
12. "I'll be real, I'm a butt guy. I barely check out a rack."
13. "Nothing hotter than a woman who is proud of her boobs."
14. "Is it weird to say that good posture is a big turn-on?"
15. "All boobs are great but there is something perfect about a nice round one."
16. "Bumpy nipples are the bomb."
17. "I don't care if you have hairy nipples unless it is way too much hair."
18. "I'm almost into cleavage more than the actual boobs."
19. "Women need to wash between their breasts more."
20. "I don't care about the boob as long as the nipples are nice and dark."
21. "I like those puffy nipples on little boobs."
22. "I love giving my girl hickeys on her boobs."
Things I learned today:
Ask men to talk about boobs and you may come to regret it.
And you also may be pleasantly surprised.
But mostly regret, probably.
Rebecca Jane Stokes is a humor and lifestyle writer for Yourtango.com