5 Life Lessons You Can Learn From Your VAGINA (Yes, Really)

I spend a lot of time thinking about my vagina.

This is surprising to exactly no one who has ever read my writing before on this site. 

I'm not ashamed of it either.

Men talk about their penises all of the time, they pee standing up and take furtive looks at each other's penises.

But even saying the word "vagina" in mixed company is bound to make people cringe.

That is just crazy. 

If you are a person who is in possession of a vagina, the truth is you probably know a lot more about life than most people without vaginas.

I'm not saying it to brag, it's just a fact. 

Here are 5 examples of life lessons we can learn from our vaginas. 

1. Appearances aren't everything. 

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Vaginas don't really look exceptional, do they?

They kind of look like somebody balled up some bologna and tried to shape it into a flower...

And failed. 

Vaginas can be hairy or hairless, dark or light, slimy or dry, but those are just its physical attributes.

Like life, the vagina is a whole lot more than when it appears to be from the outside. 

Our vaginas might just look like holes with meat wings, but they produce children and help us experience sexual pleasure.

Looks can be deceiving, and anyone with a vagina knows it. 

2. Patience can lead to happiness. 

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Masturbation is considered a taboo subject. 

That goes double for women.

When it comes to experiencing an orgasm, women are very often left to sort out our bodies on our own. 

It can take YEARS for a woman to figure out how to have an orgasm.

But when we do, man oh man, there's no looking back. 

Patience pays, and sometimes it pays in earth-shattering orgasms.

3. Life can get messy. 

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Women know that life is messy way before men are ever clued in.

Why's that?

I blame white jeans and menstruation.

We can be going about our business, walking down the street when wham! 

Blood everywhere. 

To a person in possession of a vagina, this is just a minor annoyance.

Having your period means learning to deal with mess early on, and since life is full of messes that's pretty damn convenient. 

4. It's not good to keep stuff bottled up.

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Some men spend years in therapy to learn that you need to express your emotions.

For me, that lesson was learned when a tampon I had inserted became stuck and forgotten in my vagina.

When I finally got sick and then removed the stinking atrocity, it was a relief like no other. 

If you have a vagina, then you know that from discharge to tampons to uterine lining, it's better to get stuff out and stay healthy. 

5. Life is full of surprises.

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If you have a vagina and have ever queefed (a.k.a. issued a vagina fart), then you know that life is rife with surprises. 

Once your own front bottom has issued an awkward toot, it's kind of hard to be surprised by anything at all.

Bad traffic? Surprise rainstorm? 

My vagina farted while I was singing a solo in church and it echoed, so yeah, it takes a lot to shake me up.