How To Tell If He's An Egomaniac... Or Just Really Confident
Confidence doesn't make someone an egomaniac, but there's a big difference between the two.
Javi_indy / Shutterstock We all know him. That confident, easy-going guy, who isn't afraid to speak up. He's proud of his achievements, and he'll tell you so.
"Geez," someone might mutter. "What an egomaniac."
The difference between confidence and ego isn't entirely straightforward, but it's super important. Especially if it seems like the guy is a jerk.
In a society where people (women especially) are supposed to be humble and self-effacing, it's unnerving to meet a person who knows and values their own abilities and gifts.
But that confidence doesn't make them some sort of egomaniac. In fact, confident people are often the people who are the most interested in the new folks they come into contact with on a daily basis.
If you aren't sure if someone is confident or powered by ego, here are 12 ways you can be sure.
1. If they make easy eye contact, that's confidence.
A confident person has no issue making and keeping eye contact when they meet you.
A person powered by ego doesn't really look at you, they're looking around for the next person to talk to about how awesome they are.
2. If they don't let anyone else talk, that's ego.
A person powered by ego thinks they're the most fascinating person in the room, and they won't shut up about it.
The difference between confidence and ego is that a confident person is happy to share their stories, but they're just as eager to hear yours too.
3. If they're happy to share about stuff they know very well, that's confidence.
A confident person knows when it's natural and helpful to share information about topics they know really well.
The difference between confidence and ego is that an ego-powered person is happy to talk about what they know, what they don't know, and what they think you should know.
4. If they're the expert on every subject, that's ego.
A person powered by ego knows everything. I mean, they don't, but trying telling them that.
The difference between confidence and ego is that a confident person is more than willing to admit it when they don't know the answer.
5. If they aren't afraid to ask for what they need, that's confidence.
A person who is confident asks for help and feels no shame.
The difference between confidence and ego is that an ego-powered person refuses to seek out help because they think they can do it all.
6. If they assume that everyone exists to give them what they want, that's ego.
A person powered by ego doesn't view people as people. They view them as a means to an end.
The difference between confidence and ego is that a confident person is fascinated by learning all they can about the people around them.
7. If they speak up when no one else will, that's confidence.
A confident person isn't afraid to have a disagreement when it's about something they care about.
The difference between confidence and ego is that an ego-powered person refuses to hear a different point of view.
8. If they say whatever they're thinking and don't care how it affects others, that's ego.
A person powered by ego doesn't care if they hurt someone through their words and actions.
The difference between confidence and ego is that a confident person will consider the feelings of the people around them, knowing that the feelings of others don't diminish them.
9. If they're brave enough to admit that they don't know something, that's confidence.
A person who is confident can admit they don't have all the answers without feeling devalued.
The difference between confidence and ego is that an ego-powered person confuses being right with being worthy of love.
10. If they refuse to ask for help and put others at risk to protect their own feelings, that's ego.
A person powered by ego would rather cause others harm than demonstrate weakness.
The difference between confidence and ego is that a confident person believes in themselves, which enables them to be there for others.
11. If they plan and organize a surprise date based on your tastes, that's confidence.
A romantic date planned around solely the things you love? That's a ballsy, confident person.
The difference between confidence and ego is that an ego-powered person wouldn't even think to do something for you.
12. If they take you out to do what they want to do without even asking, that's ego.
An ego-powered person views being in their presence as the greatest gift there is.
The difference between confidence and ego is that a confident person knows that relationships can only thrive with mutual respect and attention.
Rebecca Jane Stokes is a freelance writer, editor, former Senior Editor of Pop Culture at Newsweek, and former Senior Staff Writer for YourTango. She has a passion for lifestyle, geek news, and true crime topics. Her bylines have appeared on Fatherly, Bustle, SheKnows, Jezebel, and many others.