How Your Boobs Can Save You From A Car Crash
Have you thanked your boobs today?
Getty Images Two men recently found more evidence to back up what we've been saying all along: boobs rock.
While we've been bragging about our bosoms for reasons like "fun to play with" and "make me look really good in halter tops," we now have another kick-ass reason to love our boobs. Yay for science!
Trauma surgeon Christian Kenfield and road safety engineer David Logan determined that boobs actually make great safety devices when it comes to car crashes.
They consulted with sculptor Patricia Piccinini to create "Graham," a mutant doll who represents what humankind could look like if we evolved to be able to withstand severe car accidents.
Graham has a huge head, a flat face, hoof-like feet and like, a dozen pair of boobs.
OK, well, the designer doesn't actually call them boobs. She says Graham has "sacks" (which could also be science slang for boobs) between each of his ribs to make his chest more "airbag-like."
So while you thought that the only life-saving airbag is in your Honda Civic was attached to the steering wheel, you've actually been carrying one on your chest since you went through puberty.
So if they're not boobs, then why do they have nipples, Patricia? Hmm?
The designers say the inverted nipples are necessary (say that three times fast) to expel fluid from the sacs behind them.
While this project was created with the intention to remind us how vulnerable our bodies really are, I can't help but focus on the boobs aspect. My remaining questions include:
- Are Graham's extra boobs as sensitive as a woman's OG pair?
- Would Graham need to wear a special bra-like vest under all his clothes for boob support?
- Can you get inverted nipples pierced?
- And finally, would Graham look any different if he were a Greta? or a Gertruide? Or any other female-ish name that I can't think of?
Though this questions will likely go unanswered and forgotten, the memories of Graham and his never-ending rack will haunt my dreams forever.