YIKES! Why You Should Never (Ever) Pee BEFORE Having Sex

UTIs are no fun unless you really like having an excuse to drink real deal Cranberry juice (and we know nobody is that down for the bog berry). 

I like to call getting one "paying the devil's price" because of how having too much pee in vee sex can lead to that fire breathing demon, the urinary tract infection.

Making sure to go the bathroom AFTER sex is one thing, but where the idea of going to pee BEFORE sex being a good idea came into fashion, only the devil knows. 

(I will admit now, this is a very devil-heavy post, but I mean, I was raised Roman Catholic, what do you want? If it's any consolation I am picturing the Robot Devil from Futurama). 

Peeing after sex serves a very real purpose. During the act itself the penis is all like "let's push as much external bacteria into this funhouse as we possibly can."

That's classic penis for you, always thinking about pushing stuff in without a second thought to the mess and or sperms they are leaving behind. 

Post sex, jumping up to pee is great. It gives your body a chance to flush out all that bacteria with a nice gush of the ol' yellow stuff. That's apparently what I call pee now? I don't know, I just had a cup of Folger's and shit is getting real in this apartment. 

It goes to follow using the transitive property (j/k, I don't know math) that if you pee before you have sex, you won't have any of the good stuff left to do the aforementioned full-on bacterial gush that is required to maintain your genital health. 

Even New York City urologist David Kaufman, MD, explained to Yahoo that the “pee before sex” mantra is one of the biggest misconceptions he has to clear up for his female patients.

While we're at it, definitely don't pee during sex either, I mean unless that is your thing. In which case, go to town I guess.

I, for one, will never be about golden showers because my aged Persian cat Rumi is forever peeing on my bed when I'm not looking. As such I've developed a rage reaction to urine appearing on my bed.

Plus side, I can get piss out of just about anything now. 

I didn't know that peeing post sex was such a must. I'm such a dude that typically I will just pass out after doing the nasty.

As of yet my reproductive organs are still intact, knock wood.