The 7 Different Orgasms Every Woman Should Have Before She Dies

The female orgasm has long been cloaked in mystery. 

Did anyone else just picture their vagina wearing some kind of Eyes Wide Shut style cape, or was it just me? 

Why all the secrecy about how and why we cum? Because the female orgasm has long been ignored, denied, and suppressed due to our ol' enemy The Patriarchy. 

But the female orgasm is very much a thing. And the more scientists study it (I like to think I help by contributing all of my orgasms to science regularly) the more confounded and amazed they are by what they uncover. 

Did you know that there are currently 7 types of known female orgasm? I know! It's nuts! And this list doesn't even factor in that time I once sneezed one an airplane and am fairly sure I came, so. Make of that what you will. 

1. Nipple Orgasm

Playing with your nipples can activate the same pleasure centers as your clitoris. Work alone or with a partner and you might find yourself one of the lucky few who can come by nipple play alone.

I APPLAUD AND ENVY YOU. 

2. G-Spot Orgasm

Ah, the G-Spot. To access this whopper of a pleasure center use a finger or two and make a "come hither" gesture against your wall.

You'll brush up against a ridge-covered, sponge like surface. Keep brushing and "come hither" will take on a whole new meaning. 

3. Clitoral Orgasm

This is cumming for beginners, but that doesn't make it any less awesome. This is the most nerve-filled part of a woman's anatomy. Even gentle pressure can feel like too much pressure.

Clits FTW. 

4. A-Spot Orgasm

I've never experienced this one, have you? Apparently the A-Spot is located just about the G-Spot. It's best activated AFTER an orgasm.

Get in missionary position and have your partner engage in quick, firm, thrusts for full effect. Mama Mia. 

5. Anal Orgasm

You've got two sphincters at the base of your anus (mine are named Bea and Dolly). When you cum they contract anyway. A finger or a toy employed during the act can heighten that sensation and see you to Sex Enjoyment Island by way of the Butt Express. 

6. Urethral Orgasm

You know how sometimes during sex you kind of feel like you might pee? That's because of stimulation to this, the "U-Spot", and the uber sensitive tissue surrounding its opening. Proceed with exuberance and caution. 

7. Vaginal Orgasm

THIS IS A MYTH. I mean, I am a reporter here to give you all of the information that exists.

Some women (I have never met one) claim that penetrative sex over a prolonged amount of time can lead to intense vaginal orgasms. Maybe this happens for you, but I kind of feel like maybe it is just your body shuddering and giving up the ghost of a real orgasm being achieved.

Yes, yes. Your vagina is full of ghosts. 

Have you had all 7?