5 Little Signs You May Be Way Too Obsessed With Your Kid
You should love your kid, but these behaviors take it to a different level.
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Everybody loves their kids. It's part of being a parent, this gut-wrenching, heart-pounding love. We all think our children are smart, funny, and adorable. Parenting comes with rose-colored glasses. And some would say that's lucky because if we didn't adore our kids we'd kill them. They're probably right. Then, some people find that statement offensive. These people don't love their kids like the rest of us. These people are obsessed.
Here are 9 cringeworthy signs you're way too obsessed with your kid:
1. Every Facebook photo, update, status, or video stars your kid
Not most of them. Almost all of them. All of these pictures look the same. All of the potato-ish expressions look the same. Only the statuses changed: Kaytlyn sat up! Addyson rolled over! Nothing's safe — Jayden learned to walk! They write about Kyndly soiling her diaper like David Attenborough describing an undiscovered animal. Eventually, like everyone else, you hit ignore and carry on, until Mommy's posting blissfully to an internet of one: Grandma.
2. You use the word "we"
The baby didn't get his six-month shots, we got our six-month shots. It shows an unhealthy identification with their kid if they do it more than, say, once.
3. You ignore the needs of the public in favor of your child
Not babies crying in an airplane. Babies cry. Cooped-up children get antsy. But once, my friend was sitting in a restaurant when a woman loudly said she wasn't going to bother with the car or the bathroom. Then she hoisted her spawn onto the table and changed a smelly, double-ended blowout diaper in front of God and everyone. If you're this obsessed with your child at the expense of the general populace, you need a reality check.
4. You relate everything back to your kid
Every word or idea that comes out of their mouths has to be referred back to their child. Mention your dog, and her immediate response is "Oh, Jaylinn loves dogs!" Mention world peace, and it's all "I hope we solve our problems so we can leave it a better place for kids. Kids like Jaylinn." This ability is so all-encompassing as to be baffling
5. You won't talk about anything else except your kid
You know way too much about their kid. You've been regaled to tales about their pooping habits, their bedtime routine, their soccer prowess, and their math scores.
Every parent does some of this stuff some of the time; it's normal. But when you find yourself doing it constantly, or doing more than one on the reg, you may run the risk of being obsessed with your kid.
Elizabeth Broadbent is a writer, journalist, and speculative fiction author. Her work has been featured in Huffington Post, Scary Mommy, Babble, The Washington Post, Insider, CafeMom, Romper, and Ravishly, among many others, where she writes about parenting, mental health, and lifestyle topics.