6 Tiny Signs He Does Not Want A Long-Term Commitment With You
If these signs sound familiar, it's time to say goodbye — before he does.
Yuris Alhumaydy | Unsplash Relationships are tricky, but what’s even more daunting is not knowing whether or not the guy you’re into is equally as interested. If the man you’re into isn’t willing to commit to you then you’re going to find yourself going nowhere.
Instead of sitting around, hopelessly wondering whether or not he’ll settle down with you, look for these signs that he’s never going to commit to a relationship.
Here are 6 tiny signs he does not want a long-term commitment with you:
1. He doesn’t share any personal info with you
If a guy isn’t interested in committing to you, he has no reason to spill his guts out. If all you know is his favorite type of whisky and where he works then guess what? He’s not that into you.
When a guy is genuinely interested in a woman he’ll take the time to open up and show his emotions. He’ll tell you about his past, present, and future. He’ll share the names of his siblings and tell you his biggest fears. Why? Because he’s interested in settling down with you.
You can talk to someone for hours on end and not know anything real about them. If all he’s sharing are the basic facts and superficial fluff then he’s not into committing.
2. He disappears for long periods
A sure sign that a man is never going to commit to you is if he thinks it’s fine to fall off the map for days, weeks, or even months at a time without notice. Any guy who is going to disappear isn’t serious or invested in the relationship … or whatever it is that you two have.
If he thinks he can take a vacation from you it means he’s not worried about losing you because (a) he doesn’t care, or )b) he thinks you’ll be there waiting when he returns … so why commit?
If a man truly wants to be with you he’ll make room for you in his life and plans. Sure, it’s perfectly acceptable to have a busy schedule, but a quick text or phone call to let you know that he’s thinking about you isn’t too much to ask. If he’s here one day and gone the next then it’s pretty clear what the future holds.
3. He talks about a future without you
It’s one thing to dream big and be ambitious, but if every plan your guy has doesn’t include you then this is his way of telling you that he’s never going to commit to a relationship. In this case, you don’t want to ask where you fit into the picture but rather be wary of the message he’s sending.
A guy who wants to be with you isn’t just thinking for himself, but rather about what the future holds for both of you. He’ll want to talk about your dreams, goals, and plans to see how well you mesh together. If the closest thing to this you’re asked is “What are you up to tonight?” then don’t hold your breath … he isn’t going to settle with you.
4. He doesn’t introduce you to his family or friends
Meeting a man’s parents and relatives is usually a pretty big deal, and in some ways, it’s confirmation that he likes you and takes whatever it is that you have seriously. However, that isn’t always the case. If you’re spending time with the kind of guy who brings anyone and everyone around to meet his folks then you may not be as special to him as you thought.
The same goes with friends. Meeting a guy’s pals may or may not be a big deal… again, depending on the kind of person he is. He could bring you around because he thinks you’d get along well with them; he could be super into you and wants approval from his buds; or he could have you tag you along because he thinks you’re hot and wants to show you off. Again, it’s tough to say.
However, if he NEVER brings you around to meet his family or friends that is a huge red flag that he’s not going to ever commit to you. In addition to that, if he never talks about his family or changes the subject anytime it comes up then believe me, he has no intention of ever introducing you.
5. He doesn’t take you on real dates
When a man wants to be with you he’ll do just about anything to woo you, impress you, and win you over. He’d move the moon if he could. On the other hand, if the man you’ve been spending time with only sees you at your place or his for a movie night or homemade dinner, then he isn’t trying very hard because he doesn’t care very much.
It’s sad, but true.
If he’s putting in minimal effort when it comes to dates it’s because he doesn’t feel like your “relationship” is worth the effort. Sure, there are situations where money is tight or going out doesn’t fit into the schedule, but if he’s not spending time with you in public then there’s a reason for it: he doesn’t want to commit.
6. He tells you that he doesn’t want a relationship
As much as it’s nice to pretend that you can change a man’s mind, you can't. If he straight up tells you that he doesn’t want a relationship, that he has “commitment issues,” or that he hates labels — then no amount of intimacy or happiness is going to change his mind.
Thinking that you can convince a man to commit to you is a huge mistake, and simply put, you’re setting yourself up for heartache.
Amy North is a blogger, relationship coach, and best-selling author. She has appeared in British Baker, Genetic Literacy Project, The Grocer, Adotas, Internewscast, and more.