Men Explain (In Great Detail) 4 Reasons They Won't Go Down On Women

In an article on Broadly, writer Mish Barber Way writes, "I thought it would be simple to find a young, straight man who does not go down on women. He had to be out there, and moreover, he had to be willing to talk about it... The anti-unicorn had to be out there, and I needed to know his tricks."

Writer Will Lloyd found himself on the receiving end of a lot of internet rage when he published his article, "Why I don't go down on girls." 

He said, "I don't go down on girls. When I say it and study the reaction of the people I say it to, I always feel as if I've knocked over an expensive crystal urn at a classy dinner party, or wandered into an airport terminal and screamed the word BOMB. They're shocked. But they also think it's weird."

Lloyd went on to explain why he won't orally please a woman:

"There's no way of being ambiguous here; the first time I went down on a girl she ejaculated all over my face. A hot, sticky, wet jet of pee. The next day my eyes were dry and itchy ... More than pee, I felt rinsed in shame and embarrassment so total as to make me say to myself that I'd never go down on a girl a second time. It isn't rational or nice but it's the ridiculous truth. And it really, really puts me off going there ever again."

Most men who aren't enthusiastic cunnilinguists don't want to talk about it. They know that if women want oral sex, they should be able to get some.

"Masculinity is such a fragile, fragile thing," said Los Angeles sex therapist Dr. Chris Donaghue. "It is often tied into [a man's] ability to please a woman, and since a lot of woman orgasm from clitoral stimulation, and [a man's] mouth can do that, I think most guys don't want to admit that they don't know how to please a woman fully. I think it's about a fear of losing their masculinity."

There seems to be many reasons why men don't enjoy going down on women including the taste, smell, fear of not being great at it, and feeling emasculated.

Reddit user throoughway wrote, "I love my girlfriend, but goddamn I hate going down on her. I've been with enough women to know that the taste of vagina generally grosses me out. I hate it. I'm very straight, I love how it feels to have my penis in a vagina, and I'm unquestionably attracted to women and especially attracted to you [his girlfriend]. But the thought of having to put my head back between your legs is enough to go flaccid and make me queasy."

Here are some other reasons men refuse to go down on their women.

1. Their vagina doesn't smell good.

"My ex smelled and tasted so bad I just couldn't do it with her. I'm still not sure if it was her actually being more pungent than usual, or if it's me. I am a supertaster, so I'm particularly sensitive to bitter tastes. Much as I've seen guys on Reddit say that you get used to the taste/smell, or you grow to love it, I don't think that's ever going to happen with me when it makes me gag. Which is a shame because it's something I'd like to do for my girl," Reddit user sgst said.

Reddit user ByronicAsian likens the smell to a popular Asian food ingredient: "Frankly, I've been scared off cunnilingus by this guy who was proudly saying in a Vietnamese restaurant that vagina smelled like a dish of rank fish sauce."

2. The taste is completely off-putting.

In an article on Italian Vice, Davide Lomino writes about his first time trying cunnilingus.

"I had watched enough porn to be convinced I knew how to do it and threw myself in with enthusiasm. It tasted slightly rusty (and I remember thinking that exact word) and, after I spent some time trying unable to hold my breath any longer, I gave up."

Reddit user snmnky9490 didn't hold back when he wrote, "'Cause licking a day's worth of sweat off your hoo-ha tastes just as bad as licking a day's worth of sweat off your armpit. If she has showered recently, properly wiped her butt, does not seem to have any infections, and is willing to return the favor as often as she asks for it, then no problem."

People with germ phobias or are OCD may also have issues. Reddit user brokimbo said, "I have mild OCD and am kind of a germophobe, so the thought [of] going in there without some kind of barrier is not pleasant." 

ByronicAsian said, "I'm just not that comfortable that you're in close proximity to another person's body fluids and the fact that this is one of the only acts where putting your mouth where another person excretes (aka, oral sex, rimming) is 'OK.'"

3. Pubic hair is a major deal-breaker.

While many women have hairless vaginas, a full or partial bush seems to be coming back into fashion. But pubic hair appears to be a deal-breaker.

Reddit user to-to-to-todayiunior wrote, "If a girl has severely overgrown pubic hair it's a deal breaker 10/10 times. No one likes to floss while they eat." He went on to say this about oral sex and menstruation: "Also if I know my SO is about to start her cycle or is just ending, then it's a no go for sure."

4. The female body is the real problem.

But even if a woman has recently showered, shaved, and is nowhere near her period, the actual female body can still be a problem for some men.

Lomino writes, "The female body is a combination of marvelous features: the curves, the breasts, the softness of the hips, the smooth skin ... but the vulva is not so great. It is a wound in an otherwise perfect whole. And if it weren't already hard enough to have it splattered against your face ... the vagina is also a nightmare to handle with your mouth.

While with your hands you can be more reactive, when your head is squashed between someone's thighs it is impossible to really control what's going on and your partner's reactions. Managing to do both at the same time is superhuman."

I can only hope that Lomino's words seem extra harsh and insensitive because they've been translated into English from Italian. He goes on to say that women are absurdly demanding when it comes to oral sex.

Wow, absurdly demanding and yet men are NEVER that way when it comes to blow jobs. It's probably smart for men to be reticent to talk about why they won't go down on a woman, because when they do they don't come off very well.