21 Cheat Codes To Learn Before 40 To Gain An Unfair Advantage In Life
Level up in life before the big 4-0.
Szepy | Canva Life is hard enough as is, and turning 40 is a big life milestone. You've had a few decades to get your life together, learn some lessons, and hopefully some wisdom. Consider the following pieces of advice 'shortcuts' to the rest of your life — because the best part is just beginning.
Here are 21 cheat codes to learn before 40 to gain an unfair life advantage:
1. Understand your inherent worth
"Your 20s and 30s may have been your proving-ground years. Understanding your inherent worth will enable you to stand tall in every situation and to raise your standards with men, with bosses, and even with your mother-in-law. When you truly recognize that you are somebody, so will everyone else.
You won't squirm and apologize when asking for a raise. You'll no longer accept half-hearted text messages from some boyfriend adjacent. You won't be afraid to tell your somewhat narcissistic friend that she's full of herself and you're done. Understanding your true value and worth will set you free from time-sucking so-called friends, events, loser boyfriends, and even jobs.
You'll no longer take action in your life from a place of fear, but from a place of faith in knowing that you are worthy of the raise, the better boyfriend, the respect, or whatever it is — you are worthy." — Sonja Warfield
2. Care less about what other people think
"Care less about what other people think of you. Your 40s are all about owning your identity." — Sarah Fader
3. Embrace the decade when your life starts to come together
"A lot of people have a little freak-out when they turn 40 when they should be giddy with excitement. This is the decade where it all starts to come together. The lessons you learned in your 20s help you to settle into your skin more comfortably, your job becomes more of a career, your relationships get fuller, and you start to not only find your place in the world but own it. Instead of being afraid of getting older, be excited you're now entering the best chapter of your life thus far." — Brenda Della Casa
4. Invest in good under-eye cream
"Your 40s are so much better! You've settled down; you know who you are; you don't make stupid decisions anymore just because you can. You've picked your friends to stay in touch with from college and high school, and you know who isn't worth your time. Just buy some good under-eye cream." — Elizabeth Broadbent
5. Spend less time on social media
"It's a social network, not real life. Don't freak out if someone de-friends you. Be an adult and ask them if everything is okay instead of assuming they hate you now. Oh, and also, if you have friends from years ago that you don't talk to anymore, reach out and say hello. It might be awkward at first, but rekindling friendships will keep away a lot of loneliness people experience in their 40s." — Jennifer Billock
6. Be the version of yourself you fantasize about
"As someone who is past my 40s, I would love to look back on my younger self and tell her to stop giving in to feeling overwhelmed. Every endeavor presented to me in my 40s — getting married, having kids, career, buying a house, overall busyness — have all at times left me feeling like I can't do one more thing.
But in reality, not only did I do one more — I excelled at doing more than I ever imagined. You can be the version of yourself that you fantasize about if you don't give into the sense that you can't fit one more thing in. You can. Also, never say no to fun. Life is long and there's never enough fun. Do. It. All." — Melanie Gorman
7. Answer the 3 AM phone call
"Unless it's from an ex or some other garden-variety weirdo, always answer the 3 AM phone call. It gets harder the older you get, but more worth it. It could be someone who desperately needs your help, it could be a phenomenally funny story, or it could lead to you getting out of bed and making an incredibly, if foggy, memory." — Tom Miller
mikoto.raw Photographer / Pexels
8. Save your money
"Let's be honest, your 20s were about partying like a responsible college student; therefore, you probably didn't save anything. Retirement, private school tuition, a good nanny, a good marriage counselor, and vintage Chloe bags are all in your future. So put some money away now to ensure you can do the things you need to do later. — Sonja Warfield
9. Have Pedialyte available — the hangovers only get worse
From someone reaching her quarter-life crisis, remember that nothing is more important than your health, mental and physical. If something you're doing is breaking you down, stop doing it and try something else. Oh, and always have some Pedialyte available — the hangovers are only gonna get worse." — Micki Spollen
10. Refuse to fit into a cookie-cutter mold
"I know it sounds cliché, but it's hard to ignore your family's expectations and society's expectations, especially when you've been conditioned to believe them. Want a baby? Have one. Want a house? Buy one. Want to travel the world? Do it. And do it alone if that's where you find yourself." — Kim Hays
11. Listen to your authentic self
"If you haven't already, learn to listen to your authentic self. Take time to meditate, pray — whatever it takes to get in touch with your 'knower'. Life is so much more enjoyable when you know who you are!" — Dorothy Camp
12. Talk to yourself like you're someone you love
"I could be kind, generous, compassionate, and loving to others, but when it came to me, I was underneath the bottom of the totem pole. Took me a long, long, long time to get that one." According to Harvard, the easiest ways to practice self-compassion include forgiving yourself, being more mindful, and practicing gratitude. — Deb Swann
13. Say what's on your mind
"For me, 40 is easy. Life seems clearer and I feel like I finally know a little bit about a little bit. I'm not so chaotic. Let your instincts guide you. Every time I go against my own because I'm scared or lazy (mostly lazy), life blows up. Say what's on your mind and you'll thrive, sister." — Mary Rose Mielcarek
14. Repair your family feuds
"In your 40s you need to get your life together in regards to your family of origin. If you have a longstanding issue with one or both of your parents, work through it, confront it, and deal with it, because in your 40s they will age substantially and the opportunity for confrontation may not be available. Plus, whatever you don't work out with them you'll carry into all your other relationships, including your parenting." — Sonja Warfield
15. Don't question the confidence you've gained as you grow older — you've earned it
"There's power in knowing who you are and what you want from life. That confidence will be your constant source of strength and will see you through life's greatest joys and challenges, most of which are yet to come. And never, never allow another person to undermine that strength. Own it, and use it to stay true to who you are, always." — June Grace
Diva Plavalaguna / Pexels
16. Stop forward-thinking
"Every age has something wonderful about it, and the key isn't to look backward or even forwards — it's to enjoy the now. I was always so busy lamenting the age I used to be that I didn't fully appreciate the age I was." — Christine Schoenwald
17. Take the parking brake off
"Something happened in me when I turned 40 when I sort of realized, 'Holy cow, I am getting older!" I immediately took the parking brake off my life and dove into all the little things I'd been putting off for one reason or another. I chopped off all my thick, long hair. I got a tattoo. I started wearing an anklet and watching movies, reading books, and listening to albums I'd never gotten around to. JUMP IN. Do all the things you've wanted to but thought were too silly, self-serving, or socially unacceptable. I" — Liz Pardue Schultz
18. Bury the hatchet
"I got in touch with almost every single person who ever hurt me from my past in a wild attempt to bury every hatchet. Not all of it was great (I don't recommend doing that hatchet-burying thing to the extent I did, for example. People I hadn't seen in 20 years didn't need to know that I'd mentioned them in therapy for a decade), but this sustained feeling of no longer being trapped by fear of failure or embarrassment was worth all the missteps. I've spent the three years since without any regret of my past and far less anxiety about making mistakes in the future." — Liz Pardue Schultz
19. Give other people advice — you're old enough that people trust you now
"Your 40s are great because you suddenly realize that you have enough accumulated knowledge to start sharing what you know with other people. Nobody wants to hear advice from people in their 20s, because that's too soon to figure everything out. Somewhere along the way, 40 became the peak after which everything else falls apart, so advice from people in their late 40s is ideal because they've figured everything out just in the nick of time, which feels exciting! Enjoy your blissful crossover decade of culturally relevant, hard-earned wisdom!" — Jesse Costello
20. Free yourself from that constant inner monologue that held you hostage when you were younger
You know the one: "Am I pretty? Am I pretty? AM I PRETTY?!" Once you turn 40, it doesn't matter anymore. You don't care and you become so much hotter for it. Dating is fun because you probably have some money now and you know who you are. You'll be super ready to let go and have amazing intimacy. And by the time you're in your late 40s, you'll be excited to turn 40 because that's when you get your private meeting with Oprah, who whispers all the secrets of womanhood in your ear, ushering in your true power." — Carolyn Castiglia
21. Love yourself enough to admit when something isn't working for you
"We work so hard to build our perfect lives that when we reach our goals (marriage, career, etc.) we feel obligated to stick with them, even when they don't make us happy. This is a mistake. Love yourself enough to admit when something isn't working for you. Don't give up easily, but also, don't try to force something to work when it just doesn't. You can choose again. Start again. Try again. Life is too short not to live it honestly." — Cris Gladly
Andrea Zimmerman is the deputy editor of YourTango.