13 Signs You Need To Break Up With Your Overly Negative, Toxic Friend
If any of your friends constantly bring out negativity, you need to let them go.
GG_studio / Shutterstock There are many different kinds of bad friends: the narcissistic friend, the friend you have to make all the plans with, the flaky friend, the friend who takes advantage of you, and the friend you have nothing in common with. Some you hang on, and others you need to get out of your life.
One of the worst kinds of a bad friend is the negative friend, because they will actually get in the way of your happiness, and every moment you spend with them will chip away at your self-esteem. Negative people bring you down with their constant pessimism, bad moods, bitterness, and dissolving your joy within seconds.
An overly negative friend doesn't even have to direct their bad attitude at you for it to affect you. Which is why it's a great idea to break up with that negative friend in your life.
Here are 13 signs you need to dump your negative friend.
1. They tell you that you need to toughen up.
Your negative friend can't take it when someone gives them some constructive criticism, yet they have no problem criticizing you. When you tell them that they've hurt you with something they've said, they accuse you of having thin skin.
2. They constantly judge you.
A good friend is someone who accepts you unconditionally and doesn't give you unsolicited advice. If your friend is hypercritical and always pointing out your flaws, you need to break up with them as soon as possible, because their negativity isn't good for you mentally or emotionally.
3. They put a lot of pressure on you.
An overly negative friend will keep at you to succeed as if you're their stand-in for life. Overly negative people are often insecure about their own abilities and find it easier to latch on to someone else. Life is stressful enough without someone continually pushing and prodding you!
4. They put a negative spin on everything.
Your overly negative friend has an amazing gift for turning your wins into failures. Whether it's a small accomplishment or a big life change, they never have anything good to say about positive things that happen.
5. They want you to share everything.
A true friend gives as much as they take. An overly negative friend, on the other hand, wants you to share all your secrets (ammunition to be used against you later) but won't tell you any of theirs.
6. They're extremely controlling.
A bad friend has no problem shaming you for any misstep you make, and will say things like, "You're not going to eat that, are you?" Along with their attempts to control and manipulate you, you may also find that their behavior turns them into a bully.
7. They give back-handed compliments.
It's kind of artistic how they can say something hurtful or insulting in such a way that it takes you a minute to realize the negative intent behind it. "Look at you wearing that dress. I would never be that brave. Go you" is something they would say.
8. They gossip about you behind your back.
A true friend will tell you something to your face, even if it's not something you want to hear. But an overly negative friend isn't just gossiping about you — they take badmouthing to the next level and revel in your mistakes and failures.
9. They thrive in drama.
A negative friend is someone who will not only bring you down, but will find actual joy in any drama affecting your life. They are quintessential drama queens or kings, and can never have a moment in life where they aren't creating stress around themselves.
10. They're jealous of you.
A negative, toxic friend doesn't lift you up when you come bearing good news; rather, they are extremely jealous, critical, competitive, and may even attempt to "copy" your life in its entirety.
11. They're emotionally draining.
Known as energy vampires, your negative friend sucks the life out of every conversation or situation they are involved in. You may feel physically tired, like you're lacking motivation, or like you can't pay attention. It's all because of your toxic friend, so consider this a sign it's time to get rid of them.
12. They hate seeing you flourish.
Because they thrive on gloom and doom, your overly negative friend can't stand it when you're feeling happy and doing well. They don't support you, and they certainly aren't happy for you when you get your dream job, when your significant other proposes, or when you reach any goals you've set for yourself.
13. They make you feel like a bad person.
Whether it's pointing out your flaws, criticizing your choices, or playing down your accomplishments, your negative friend is on a mission to make you feel poorly about yourself. If this is a pattern in your friendship, realize that they aren't a good person to have around you.
Some friendships are so negative that they're unhealthy for you. It doesn't make you a bad person to want these friends gone from your life; it's actually better to deal with the fact that the relationship isn't working and that you both need to move on.
Once you break up with a friend, there's no going back, so think about it long and hard before you do it. It can be liberating to get that negativity out of your life.
Christine Schoenwald is a writer, performer, and frequent contributor to YourTango. She's had articles featured in The Los Angeles Times, Salon, Bustle, Medium, Huffington Post, Business Insider, and Woman's Day, among many others.