I Made A Cake With One Special Ingredient: My Husband's Semen
Sounds... sticky.
Getty Images I want to share with my fellow women an astonishing thing that happened to me the other evening.
Here's the story: I was in the kitchen, preparing a cake for my husband of 15 years. You know, totally normal, everyday stuff, baking something nice for your spouse while waiting for them to get home. The usual married couple things we do.
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However, in the middle of when I was baking, he had arrived home in a sexy mood and approached me from behind, kissing and caressing me. Needless to say, it was a bit distracting.
And I'd already poured the sugar in a bowl and was getting ready to beat the eggs, but could definitely not continue now!
He then gave me a tender caress and spanked my butt before squeezing my breasts and kissing me on the scruff of the neck. He really knew how to drive me wild! Within seconds, he had my clothes off and started penetrating me from behind. I was so incredibly turned on.
You can obviously guess where this led. It was a frenetic sex session, and definitely not part of our usual routine. We did it on every available surface in the kitchen. It's like something you'd see in an adult movie.
But as our passionate tryst came to an end, my husband went and did the unthinkable: He ejaculated right into my mixing bowl! Yes, really. Right into the beautiful batter I was getting ready to mix into a delicious cake for us both to enjoy.
At first I was annoyed and irritated that he could be so thoughtless. But upon a short introspection, I had concluded that it was probably not the best idea to have done the deed right near this masterpiece that I had been working on.
So, I sighed, and then my husband kissed me, and gave me an apology for the very unfortunate event. "Sorry," he said. Although I was a bit annoyed that he chose to do this in my cake batter, of all places, I was actually more surprised than anything.
I don't know why, but instinctively, I then continued to stir in the semen with the sugar and ended up with a surprisingly nice-looking glaze. (I mean, why waste a perfectly good cake, right?)
My husband (of course) just stood there, clearly shocked at what I was doing. But I continued on.
Then, when I was done stirring my amazing new glaze, I grabbed a teaspoon and tried it. And wow — it tasted as nice as it had looked, like caramelized honey, and absolutely nothing like the usual bitterness of sperm at all.
So, I wasted no time and went ahead with finishing baking the cake — semen and all! And what could have been a very messy accident turned out to actually be a yummy dessert for us both.
Alex Alexander is a frequent contributor to YourTango.