3 Easy Steps To Divorce-Proofing Your Marriage (Yes, Really)
How to make sure your marriage never ends.
Lauren Brown | Pexels No one goes into marriage looking to divorce, but sometimes it's inevitable. You both have a list of expectations and non-negotiable goals and if they aren't met and shared, that can be dangerous to your marriage. This has proven very true in the United States in the past few years. According to the American Psychological Association, "[About] 40-50 percent of married couples in the United States divorce." Of that 50 percent, the Institute of Divorce Financial Analysts says that 43 percent of marriages end in divorce due to basic incompatibility. With such a high divorce rate, it's important to take the time to reflect on your marriage. See what's working, what's not working, and what could cause conflict in the future. Perhaps, because you're committed and love each other so much, you're willing to work these issues out and negotiate certain terms that'll keep your marriage thriving.
For those of you looking to marry soon, divorce coach Dr. Karen Finn explains how to divorce-proof your marriage before you tie the knot. She says, "There are a couple of economists out of Emory University who found that the number of guests who attend your wedding, the length of time that you dated before you married, and whether or not you went on a honeymoon can all impact your risk of divorce." What can you do to avoid divorce in your current marriage? Dr. Karen Finn expertly explains, "The big global answer for that is you need to reconnect with your spouse if you want to divorce-proof your marriage."
Here are 3 easy steps to divorce-proofing your marriage:
1. Have fun
The best way to reconnect is to maintain the fun that you had at the beginning of your relationship. Try new things together — both in and out of the bedroom — and start new hobbies. Go on exciting getaways or spend a night together binge-watching your favorite TV show. Do things that you both enjoy together. You'll have something to discuss and share, which will help your bond strengthen.
2. Communicate compassionately
Not every disagreement has to be a heated argument or a screaming match. Relax, listen — without interrupting! — and then, respond. You'll be able to better understand your partner. When you calmly discuss an issue, your head is clear to better articulate your grievances and come to a resolution.
3. Share your goals, dreams and desires
You can have your own goals, dreams, and desires, but having a shared list will keep the bond strong because you're on the journey to achieve those goals, dreams, and desires together. You'll better understand your spouse's path toward that goal because you share it.
Dr. Karen Finn is a divorce and life coach. Her writing on marriage, divorce, and co-parenting has appeared on MSN, Yahoo, Psych Central, Huffington Post, Prevention, and The Good Men Project, among others.