After Grandfather Comes Out As Gay, He Shares Advice To Unborn Grandkids: 'Love Is Love'
An out-and-proud grandpa shares insights, wisdom, and thoughts with his future grandchildren.
Mikhail Nilov | Pexels Dear Unborn Grandchildren,
I have some insights, wisdom, and thoughts that are on my heart to share with you.
Although, there's a real chance you'll think I'm rambling. But, rambling is a great stress reducer (a life lesson there for you)! So, keep reading and just indulge me for a moment, won't you?
I'm not going to bore you with the history lesson about gay marriage and gay rights. Hopefully, you'll be exploring: Gay History, American History, and Political Science classes.
What I will say is that this monumental change in history, got me thinking about a lot of stuff — insights that I want to give to you now in case the future doesn't present the opportunity.
Here are 7 nuggets of life wisdom from your gay grandfather:
1. Love is love
I don't care if you turn out gay, bi, transgender, asexual, or even heterosexual; I just want you to go out and love, and enjoy loving.
Love is one of the coolest gifts we're given to experience as humans, so don't waste it or hold back on it.
America is a diverse mix of all kinds of orientations. With one of the highest percentages of LGBTQ+ in the world at 8% of the population, according to Pew Research statistics.
2. Be brave
Throughout life, you'll face a lot of stuff that'll scare you crawling back (or at least, trying) into the comfort of your Mom's tummy! Fear doesn't diminish with age.
Heck, I'm afraid of dying and having my bones shoved in a box. Instead, I'm going have my remains BBQ'd and the ashes strewn across the ocean.
Okay, so I'm freaked out by fire, but I love the ocean so I figure one cancels out the other. The same thing applies to bravery ... it cancels out fear, so keep facing fear head-on and be brave!
3. Stay curious
I was almost 50 years old when I realized I'd somehow stopped being curious. I'd lost my 5-year-old boy's curiosity. Curiosity is a cool, cool, toy we're all given to keep us from settling or taking things at face value.
From where I sit (can't tell you where that is), it'd be cool to watch you wake up every day being curious. Trust me, curiosity is one of your dearest friends, I promise.
4. Never stop playing
Confession time. Pop-pop was often told to loosen up. I wasn't like a stiff old bird who's set in his ways. But, I was more of a serious, "get 'er done" sort of guy — very focused, intent, and determined.
All great qualities, but not when you forget to play and simply have fun, too! Play keeps us fresh, young, and alive. Remember that, even when your Mom tells you to stop playing. They're just asking you to stop for the moment, not forever.
5. Smile, smile, smile
I'm smiling right now thinking about this piece of advice. Why? Pop-pop wasn't much of a smile. I hated getting my pictures taken because it always required smiling.
Then I realized my smile was pretty hot, it made others smile, and it often led me to find curiosity, play, and fun. (Plus, your Great-Grandma Jeanie paid a lot of money to make my smile a killer one, so I decided I may as well use it and share it.)
Justin Shaifer / Pexels
So should you — share yours. Smiles will get you a whole lot more in life than frowns! Smiling has its benefits. Science tells us that smiling increases mood-enhancing hormones while decreasing stress-enhancing hormones, including cortisol, and adrenaline.
6. "No" doesn't mean "never"
The word "no" is a fact of life and it probably should have its star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame (is that even still a thing in your day?) Unless you're on a date (in which case "no" DOES mean "no"), in life when you're told "no," just know that it doesn't have to mean forever. Whether it's asking your mom for a cookie or a boss for a career opportunity, oftentimes, "no" simply means "not right now!"
What you'll also learn is that sometimes "no" is actually for your own good. But, I'll let you figure that one out.
I could continue to ramble on but I don't want to bore you completely. So let me add just one last tidbit of wisdom, if there's only one suggestion of mine that you follow, please let it be this one ...
7. Love yourself first
For too long, down through the ages of history, humans learned that it is selfish to love yourself first.
Honestly, that is true, if your self-love is contingent or done for the wrong reasons — to hurt others, to make yourself look better for better's sake, or because all you know how to do is love yourself.
I'm not a fan of any of those people who love themselves because they think they're the greatest thing since the Internet! (Yes, there was a time when the Internet didn't exist and we had to roll down windows in our cars with our hands.)
However, if you love yourself first, you'll learn to love others more, find ways to trust and respect others for who they are, and you'll make the planet a better place.
Love is the basis for digging into other people's differentness.
If you learn to love yourself and your differentness, you will be able to love others and their differentness. Soon enough, you'll shed the desire to look, act, and follow any and everyone else. Just be yourself!
Oh, and one more "Pop-pop thought" ... putting up a fake persona is way more work than being the special, unique, amazing someone you already are!
Rick Clemons is a certified professional coach, speaker, author, and podcaster who inspires corporations, entrepreneurs, college and university students, and individuals to make their bold moves.