6 Things To Do With His Balls To Drive Him Crazy (In A Good Way)
Keeping them in your purse isn't one of them.
Pixel-Shot / shutterstock Testicles serve two functions: to house the seed of life and to be hilarious when an actor gets hit in them.
When it comes to sexy time and foreplay, they aren't the most obvious target. They basically look like what happens when I try to fold a fitted sheet.
But don't let that shroud their potential.
Like nipples, testicles can be the source of bonus pleasure for men during foreplay, or the act proper.
Here are a few ways to play with them if you want to go nuts:
1. Cup and stroke them... gently.
No, this isn't some weird golf metaphor, although I'd be surprised if Tiger Woods hasn't used those very words in the bedroom before.
If there’s anything Hollywood has taught us about testicles, it's that they're sensitive. And like any sensitive body part, light stimulation across the skin can be pleasurable. It helps that they're in the vicinity of the main attraction at his sex theme park, too.
Cup them in your hands, and lightly jostle or stroke lightly with your fingers. For the love of god, just don't squeeze.
2. Lick them.
Preferably, this would be a precursor to oral sex and, in general, part of foreplay. It's not something you'd stop mid-coitus to do. (The same goes for any of these, really.)
How you want to approach it is up to you — anything will feel great. Just treat it like a tease and build-up the suspense.
It's almost the male equivalent of kissing your inner thigh and around your vagina before he goes down on you. It's the opening act.
3. Play with them during a blowjob.
There's almost nothing you can do during a blowjob — other than bite or vomit — that doesn't enhance the experience. And even then, there's probably a guy or two on the internet that fantasizes about those very two things.
The only thing better than one sex act is two sex acts... at the same time.
You probably have something you like while having sex — having your nipples played with or your hair pulled — that heightens the stimulation. This is that.
4. Kiss them.
Though this may sound like one of the weird ways to play with his testicles, it isn't. Maybe you can't quite commit to having them in your mouth for whatever reason, but it feels fantastic to have sensitive areas kissed.
The best analogy I can come up with is the neck. Kissing his testicles is like making out with his penis's neck. Did I really just write that sentence?
5. Suck on them.
This really goes into the same category as licking them in terms of an explanation. You probably want to do both leading up to oral.
My word of advice is to be slow and gentle. Testicle pain hurts so much, it can cause physical nausea. And getting too aggressive could cause a mishap that cancels the whole encounter.
A good method for sucking on testicles is called teabagging. This is a sexual act where the testicles are dipped in and out of the partner's mouth kind of like dipping a tea bag in hot water.
6. No seriously, be careful with them.
This is less a sex tip (although it applies there, too), and more of a general life hack. The amount of times my testicles have been accidentally kneed, smacked, or generally abused is absurd.
It's not your fault. You're climbing over us into bed and forget we have external genitalia — these things happen. I once had an ex who accidentally hit me in the junk at least once a week.
When it comes to his package, just remember: you take care of it, and it'll take care of you.
Bob Alaburda is a writer who focuses on love, relationships, and sex.