10 Blowjob Mistakes Almost All Women Make (According To A Man)
Even the most experienced oral enthusiast will make mistakes often — without knowing it.
andrey popov / shutterstock If you ever worry that he's not satisfied with your oral sex skills, but you want to impress him so much that he never craves another woman's mouth again, then you need to know about the common blowjob mistakes.
As the old adage goes, they’re only mistakes if you’re not learning from them!
When giving a blowjob you not only want to pleasure your man but please them while you perform for them. They love watching you perform as much as they like you giving them a blow job.
Some women get it wrong by accidentally biting or jamming and not committing to it because they aren't confident in their skills or enthusiastic about blowjobs.
Deep throating mistakes, not suppressing your gag reflex, having a dry mouth, and using teeth are all things you need to avoid when giving a blow job.
Here are 10 common blowjob mistakes women make when giving men oral sex.
Next time you're giving a blow job, try to avoid making these mishaps and you’ll give much better head the very next time you do.
1. You think he’s satisfied when he’s not.
You might think that you’re blowing his mind, but are you really? Many women think that if they manage to make their guy come, he’s satisfied.
The truth is that men are made to orgasm quickly and easily in order to make sure the human race survives. Just because he comes… doesn’t mean the blow job was exceptionally great.
If he’s constantly shocked at your new tricks and techniques and always letting you know that you’re the best he’s ever had… congratulations! You’re a woman who gives your man good head.
But if not, it’s crucial that you learn how.
2. You don't enjoy giving head.
If you think that blow jobs are something you "should" be doing, you’re not giving him great head… period!
Understand this: he doesn’t want you to give him an incredible blow job… he wants you to love giving him an incredible blow job!
Look, it’s no secret that guys get a lot of their self-esteem from their penis. If you’re going down on him, and it looks like you’re grossed out by it or that you’re just counting the seconds until it’s over… he’ll know it and feel that you don’t respect his "manhood."
3. You let him last too long.
This one is kind of a no-brainer, but no list of blowjob mistakes is complete without it.
If you can’t make him orgasm within a few minutes any time you want, your jaw and neck can get painfully sore. Not only does this lower the quality of your oral escapade, but your mind can also begin to link negative emotions to giving head.
4. You don't cover your teeth properly.
This is probably the most painful mistake you can make during a blowjob.
You probably already know that making sure your teeth don’t graze his member is a must. However, a lot of women sacrifice visual appeal in order to avoid their teeth. Wrapping your lips over your teeth is one of the most common ways that girls protect their man from "accidental scrappage"… but it comes at a cost.
Not only does it not feel as good as the alternative you’re about to learn, but it also doesn’t look as hot. Remember, men are highly visual, and everything he sees can affect how hot or not the blow job is.
Instead of wrapping your lips over your teeth, try puckering them out. It takes some practice and a bit of getting used to, but once you do, your blow jobs will look ten times sexier, and the sensation of your wet, soft lips gliding up and down on him will feel ten times better!
5. You don't know your goal or how to reach it.
Sometimes you just want to please your man and build a deeper and more intimate connection with him. Sometimes you want to get him riled up and entice him to take you, bend you over, and give it to you hard. Other times you might want to inspire him to make love.
Whatever your goal is, you need to have a set of techniques (or a routine) that bring you closer to your goal. Otherwise, you’re leaving the fulfillment of your cravings up to chance.
Specific techniques and "styles" of head can make a man want to relax and enjoy, or bring him to the point where he can’t take anymore and needs to have you right then and there.
Most women don’t know the different types of blow jobs, and then, get frustrated because he starts "doing your mouth" when you wish he’d just sit back, hold your hair and praise your incredible skills. Sometimes, they get frustrated when he just wants you to finish him off with your mouth when you really want sex.
So get clear on your goal, and give him the kind of blow job that will help you meet it.
6. You don't use your hands.
Your tongue is the strongest muscle in your body and can deliver pleasure unlike anything else he’ll ever feel. However, there’s so much more you can do with your hands to really take your blow job to the next level.
Try stimulating that veiny part of his penis and when he's about to come, keep going to make sure he's "completely empty" as that's one of the best ways to finish a guy off and some women just don’t do it or know how to.
7. You either talk dirty too much... or not at all.
As much as you hate silent, boring sex… he does too.
Remember, he wants you to love going down on him. If you’re just going through the motions without looking at him, without showing any passion, or without taking the time to let him know how much fun you’re having, he won’t either.
A lot of women (and men for that matter) feel shy and awkward talking dirty. Some aren’t even comfortable talking at all in bed. The biggest mistake a lot of women make when talking dirty to their man is they try to emulate what they hear in porn movies. It’s a huge mistake.
Here’s why: A lot of guys in porn are much larger than the average man, and because of this, you’ll often hear a lot of adult actresses tell the guy how big he is, how much she loves big penis and how "Oh my gawd… I don’t know if it’ll fit."
If your guy is above average, telling him can be a major turn-on… but only do it if he really is big. If you tell an average-sized guy, "You’re soo big," it’ll come off as manipulative and inauthentic — not a turn-on!
Instead, try telling him how "perfect" his penis is. Let him know that you like how it looks or how good he tastes. These are all compliments that he can believe, and when he does, it will sky-rocket his erotic ego!
8. He doesn't give you feedback.
If your man lies there with his eyes closed while hardly moving and not communicating with you, not only does it make giving head frustrating and boring, but it also makes it hard to give him the best head of his life.
Now, if your guy isn’t giving you the kind of feedback you need and deserve, it doesn’t necessarily mean your technique is bad. It might just be that he’s extremely shy and reserved.
This is another problem in itself though because it means he’s not allowing himself to open up and experience the rawest pleasure possible with you. If ever he meets another girl who does know how to "open him up," he’ll feel that she is the best he’s ever had… even if your physical technique was better.
Getting feedback from your guy is crucial if you want to be his best ever and want to entice him to be yours. One of the simplest ways to do this is by using negative and positive reinforcement.
When you’re going down on him, stop for a second and ask him if he likes what you’re doing. You can be as specific in your question as you like. The trick is that after you ask, look up at him and don’t continue until he responds. Once he does, get right back to him and increase your passion to make it even more pleasurable for him.
Do this just a few times, and his brain will begin to realize that giving you feedback means a better, more pleasure blow job for him! At the very least, you must communicate with your man and learn what each of you likes.
9. You don't adapt your techniques to his preferences.
The technique that causes one guy to swear you’re the best he’s ever had might turn another guy off completely. Some guys hate having their balls touched while others will consider it a sin to not give them proper attention. Some men would rather you focus only on the head of their penis while others need you to stimulate the entire shaft.
One of the biggest differences in preferences I’ve noticed about blow jobs is in the amount of pressure (or suction) that you use. One man likes to be sucked really hard while another will feel pain if you use too much pressure.
This is why it’s so important to talk with your guy and learn his preferences.
10. You don't get help.
As a bisexual guy who’s received countless blow jobs from both men and women, trust me when I say that 99% of women are nowhere near as good at giving head as they think.
To be the best he’s ever had, you can’t let yourself be blinded by arrogance. Never let yourself believe you know it all. You might know a lot — heck, you might even be better than average — but there are always new tricks and techniques to learn that will bring you to the next level.
Yes, there is a formula to giving "the perfect blow job," and if you want to pleasure your man in a way that no other woman ever has, then I want you to have it.
Know that you know what to avoid, here are a few extra tips for how to give a good blowjob.
1. Ask him if you can "please blow him" because you want it.
When you love going down on him, and he sees that there’s nothing you’d rather be doing, you’re stirring up his soul and feeding his ego at the most primal level! You’re making him feel masculine, important, and desired.
Smile at him while giving him a blowjob and moan like you just can’t get enough of him.
These psychological factors are what will really blow his mind and can even make a guy fall in or out of love with you!
2. Find his trigger.
There's an anchoring technique I teach that shows you how to create a "trigger" (only you will know) to make him orgasm almost on command any time you want.
Until you learn it, make sure you try different techniques on him and pay attention to what makes him orgasm the quickest, so you can keep that secret tucked away in your pocket for "emergencies."
3. Know where to use your hands.
Here’s an advanced "finishing move" most girls don’t know: That big vein-like part of his penis that runs all across the shaft is called the corpus spongiosum. It’s one of the hot spots that can deliver massive pleasure when you know how to work it! It also wraps around his urethra which is where his semen comes out.
When he’s about to come, wrap your four fingers around him over the top and press the tip of your thumb or your tongue up into this veiny pleasure zone. Add a little pressure on it as you jerk him back and forth.
Keep doing this after he comes, and you’ll squeeze those last few drips out like a tube of toothpaste.
Know that it's perfectly OK to not want to give a guy a blowjob.
Whether it's a long-term partner or someone you've just met, it's always up to you what you do and don't want to do.
Consent is everything and if you don't feel comfortable performing a certain sex act, then you don't need to.
It's ok not to perform blowjobs, but if you ever change your mind, remember what to avoid and give it your best shot.
Nick Hardwick is a sex expert who provides advice for men and women looking to improve their intimacy and sex lives.