3 Money Signs He's Financially Stable Enough For A Serious Relationship
How to make sure you won't be plagued by money problems in your marriage.
Karolina Grabowska | Canva Financial security and stability are important to most people before they enter a relationship or marriage — and for good reason. According to a 2015 study by NerdWallet, 42 percent of men bring credit card debt into new relationships while only 29 percent of women do. NerdWallet management recognizes the strain that one's finances and money decisions can create in relationships. Kevin Yuann stated that with existing debt and the expense of starting a new life, "You are facing an uphill battle to happily ever after." The idea that women want financial stability from their mates is not new.
My clients still report this as a major concern in their relationships. While the desire is still present, it has shifted with increased empowerment and opportunity for women. Instead of the old idea, "I need a man to take care of me," we have a new idea: "I don't want to carry him." Nonetheless, it's still a burden that deserves attention, especially because money habits and attitudes can be hard to shift. And in healthy relationships, these are addressed earlier rather than later.
Here are 3 money signs he's financially stable enough for a serious relationship:
1. He is organized about money and purchases
He knows what he has so there are no overdrafts. He has some savings and puts them away into a retirement account. He is mindful of purchases and makes a plan instead of overspending. He pays bills on time and his credit score is at least okay. And he doesn't forget his wallet nor does he depend on you.
2. He is willing to openly discuss his finances with you
When I was about to be married, I knew that we needed to have "the debt discussion." I had student loans and some other debt and my partner was recently divorced and who knows what could be going on with that? We were both scared that we would be rejected because of our past decisions.
Turns out, we were pretty well matched with debt levels and money attitudes, so we were fortunate. The important part is that we were honest, vulnerable, and able to plan — all traits of a healthy relationship. Before you marry your significant other, notice and be aware if they continue to avoid money conversations — money shame is rough to manage later on.
3. He has goals and they are in motion
Maybe he's not financially independent — yet. But he doesn't worry about his job or a missed payment. He gets that planning ahead is important, he might even have a budget that he sticks to. He likes to pay in cash or live beneath his means because it will move him toward his goal. There are so many things that cause stress in a relationship — money doesn't have to be one of them. So, if you want to demonstrate that you can care for yourself and a future partner, you'll get your money in order, too.
Tabatha Bird Weaver is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and Licensed Professional Counselor, and hosts the CPTSD podcast.