15 Signs Someone's The Designated Mom Of Their Friend Group
You're the most responsible adult your friends know.
Alex Green | Canva As long as I can remember, I've always been the designated mom of my friend group. I worry about everyone when we go out together, I give advice that I'm not usually qualified to give, and I even bring snacks when we go places just in case someone gets hungry. It's a life calling.
Some women have children; I have my friends. If you relate to any of these signs, you're probably the mom of your friend group, too. Embrace it — every group needs one or two.
Here are signs someone's the designated mom of their friend group :
1. You always cheering on your friends during their biggest life events
*sniff sniff* Just so proud. No specific, widely recognized psychological study directly labels the mom of the friend group as the person who consistently cheers on their friends during significant life events.
Research published by the Scandinavian Journal of Psychology found that concepts like social support, group dynamics, and role expectations can help explain why this dynamic occurs. This role can vary depending on the group dynamic and individual needs. While often associated with a female role, the mom dynamic can be present in any gender combination within a friendship group.
2. You know exactly what gifts to give
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Birthday presents are where you shine. Being the person who consistently knows the perfect gifts to give within a group can be interpreted as taking on a mom role.
This role signifies a high level of attentiveness, care, and understanding of others' needs and desires, often associated with a nurturing parental figure. This act of thoughtful gift-giving strengthens social bonds and reinforces one's position as a supportive group member.
3. You worry about them all the time
Are they safe? Are they having a good day? Are they hungry? Are they emotionally secure?
While no single study labels someone who constantly worries as the mom of the group, research on social roles, group dynamics, and personality traits like neuroticism supports the idea that individuals who exhibit high levels of concern and responsibility within a social group can be perceived as taking on a mothering role.
2022 research warned that constantly worrying about others' needs can lead to emotional exhaustion and stress for the individual taking on the mom role. Group members might not always appreciate the constant concern and may take the mom figure's efforts for granted.
4. You are the go-to friend for a pep talk
Boost everyone's self-esteem? Check. The concept aligns with social support, group dynamics, and the positive impact of feeling valued and cared for within a group, which can significantly contribute to individuals' self-esteem.
While generally positive, a 2017 study found that constantly playing the mom role can lead to burnout or resentment if the group doesn't balance giving and receiving support.
5. You give tough love when necessary
Tough love is the best love. People with a strong tendency to nurture and support others are likelier to become moms within a group.
This tendency often stems from early childhood experiences and attachment styles. A 2017 study concluded that feeling overwhelmed, exhausted, or resentful due to constantly taking on the caregiving role can be a significant indicator that someone needs to reassess their position within the group.
6. You come prepared for any circumstances
First-aid kit, snacks, backup charger, and plenty of water. She always carries a bag—no matter what you need, she has it—somehow, it's always there. Our mother friends are protective and loving and want the best for all our friends.
7. You know when to tell them to start drinking
Bottoms up! Observing the social cues and overall vibe of the group, considering the time of day, the occasion, and most importantly, ensuring everyone is comfortable and ready to start drinking responsibly. This is often a gauge to ensure nobody feels pressured to drink too quickly or too much.
8. And you know when to tell them to stop drinking
Whoa — slow down there, buddy. They know when to tell everyone to stop drinking by observing their behavior, gauging their intoxication level, and stepping in when things start to get out of hand.
This includes signs like excessive drinking, slurred speech, poor coordination, erratic behavior, or becoming overly emotional and prioritizing the safety and well-being of the group over continuing to party.
9. You are the designated problem solver
Designated problem solver to the rescue! This person takes the initiative to tidy up situations, solve problems, and generally keep things running smoothly within the group, similar to how a mother might manage a household.
10. You can be relied on for the serious stuff
They might even call you before 911.
11. You plan group events
A party without a plan isn't a party, is it? They take on a nurturing, organized role, often initiating plans, coordinating schedules, and ensuring everyone feels included. This usually translates to them being the primary event planner for the group, taking charge of organizing activities and gatherings.
12. You are the best shoulder to cry on
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Almost always followed up with some serious girl talk. This person is mainly known for being the most supportive and empathetic, always ready to listen and offer comfort when someone needs to vent or share a difficult situation. They end up acting as a reliable source of emotional support.
13. You always remember to take photos
It's for the memories, you guys! There are photos of food, friends, nature, buildings, family members, and throwbacks. They are the perfect way to capture moments and help you relive your fondest memories.
14. You act as their conscience
Giving advice is in your job description. The moral compass friend tends to point out potential issues, remind you of what's right, and encourage you to make responsible decisions, even when they might not be the most popular choices.
15. You have everyone's back
Group hug on three: one, two, three! The group's glue is the person who keeps everyone connected and supports them through thick and thin, always ready to stand up for them when needed.
Karenna Meredith is an experienced associate editor, freelance writer, and content manager.