10 Things Only Perpetually On-Time People Understand
Seriously, hurry the hell up.
Victoria Chudinova / Shutterstock Being the girl who is always on time is the worst. You make plans to meet up at three, which really translates to a "fashionable" three-thirty in your "laidback" friend's time.
Do you know what's fashionable? A DVF wrap dress.
Not fashionable? Strolling in without a care in the world after we've already ordered (and eaten) the entire bread bowl.
Here are some other struggles only perpetually on-time people understand:
1. On-time doesn't mean on time.
On-time means getting your butt in the parking lot 10 minutes early.
2. We always allot time for potential catastrophes.
Traffic, wrong directions, stopping for gas, subway train delays, airport security lines, etc. — which means we always leave an extra half-hour cushion around our departure.
3. Running even 5 minutes late gives us heart palpitations.
And heart palpitations lead to anxiety and anxiety leads to this.
4. If you're late, we'll be nice about it to your face if we don't know you, but inside we're seething.
Because you know what? Being more than 15 minutes late is rude.
Being more than 15 minutes late and not giving a heads-up or subsequent apology is really, really rude.
Our time is just as valuable as yours.
Buy a watch — this Original Grain rose gold one is gorgeous.
5. We obsessively check our iPhone alarms before we go to bed just to make sure it's set.
It's like turning a flat iron off before you leave your home — you can never too be sure.
6. Speaking of alarm clocks, we're not above setting alarms in 15-minute increments just to fully ensure we don't miss our wake-up time.
Exhibit A:
7. We always have a book or fully-charged iPhone on us because we're used to waiting for rude, er, late people.
Do you know how cumbersome it is to bring a hard-covered novel to a Califonia Pizza Kitchen? I do not have room in my purse for that, so please don't be late.
(Yes, my iPhone Kindle app has made this dilemma a bit more practical, thankfully.)
8. We have no interest in being "fashionably" late, whatever that even means.
The upside to being the first person at the party: We have no problem getting drinks or the first pass at the pigs-in-a-blanket. Early bird gets the appetizers.
9. If we had a dime for every time we said, "Hurry uppppp," or "Let's goooooo" to our significant others, we'd have as much money as Jeff Bezos.
And if we think about that too much, it really starts to bum us out.
10. Repeat this with me: Walk with purpose.
Slower walkers to the right, stay in your lanes, keep it moving. (I fit in well in New York City.)
And as my on-time spirit animal comedian Mike Birbiglia says in one of my favorite sketches: It's so easy to be on time.
Andrea Zimmerman is the editor-at-large at Yourtango. She enjoys reading, traveling, and reading while traveling. Follow her @angiecat86 on Instagram.