3 Tiny Ways To Affair-Proof Any Marriage
How to make sure your spouse stays committed.
Katerina Holmes | Canva Here's a dose of reality: Today one person in every three couples is having an affair. You probably realize that lying is a pervasive part of society. Deception is everywhere, from politics to food labeling.
While cheating on your spouse and jeopardizing your marriage has been around forever, it has never been easier thanks to technology. The same smartphone that makes everything available at the tap of your fingers, also makes it possible to inquire and engage countless, willing, married, and single people for intimacy.
Today, online dating is the primary source of all relationships. However, it's estimated that up to 30 percent of profiles on single sites are actually covered for married people. Infidelity websites are increasingly popular, and the largest, Ashley Madison, boasts 70 million members and growing.
According to the affair website Victoria Milan, 45 percent of people have cheated or contemplated cheating on their spouse because their partner pays too much attention to their smartphone. This is ironic because their partner could actually be using that phone to cheat. This is actually the preferred method of searching for and interacting with affair partners. There are countless tips online to keep a person's secret life undiscovered, and anyone can pick from the numerous apps available that cover their tracks. Some examples include:
- Vaulty Stocks: Looks like you're checking the stock market, but put in your secret pin and access your hidden pictures and videos.
- Call and Text Eraser: This does just what you think will easily erase your naughty calls and messages.
- Tiger Text: Makes messages disappear after a certain amount of time, similar to Snapchat for pictures. Invisible Text allows messages, pictures, and videos to self-destruct.
- Slydial: Makes it look like you tried to call your spouse back without having to talk to them.
- Black SMS: Allows you to receive encrypted messages that appear as harmless images.
This is just a mere sample of the layers of cover that are available in today's technologically advanced world that keep people from getting caught cheating. To prevent affairs and keep your marriage rock solid there are plenty of things you can do.
Here are 3 surefire ways to affair-proof your marriage:
1. Show your partner the appreciation that they deserve.
Make them feel loved, truly special, and valued by you. Ignore them at your own peril because the unappreciated spouse is the first to cheat. You cannot unintentionally neglect your partner and imagine that everything is okay.
2. Pay attention to them.
Put your smartphone down and engage with them at a deeper level. Get curious about what's going on with them and spend more intimate time together. Be the one to initiate more playfulness, lightness, fun, sensuality, and adventure. Do not wait for your partner to go first.
3. Get to know and understand their business life.
Curiosity pays off here too. If possible, visit them at their office. Attend job functions and meet the people your spouse works with. Get engaged in their life outside of your home. Be willing to listen to your spouse talk about their business issues. Let them know how proud you are of them in this context. Be willing to learn about their passions and interests.
While we're caught up in our own busy lives, our partners are doing the same. If you want to sustain love and passion for a lifetime, then you must make your relationship the priority that it deserves. The needs of your partner and the relationship must come before your own needs if you want to elevate your love life. The success of your relationship will always reflect how well you do just that.
Jeff Forte is a marriage therapist and author of The 90-Minute Marriage Miracle. He has over 15 years of experience with some of Wall Street’s top investment firms, including extensive interpersonal conflict resolution experience as a regional team development leader.