7 Couples Married 25+ Years Reveal How Often They Have Sex
They told us the truth.
iStock We hear all sorts of myths about sex after marriage. Some will insist their bedroom is as steamy as every; others will confide it's a steady descent. But what's the reality?
How does your sex life change after you've been married a long time — say 25 or more years? We asked these couples and they told us the absolute truth. Result: Just like in any relationship, young or seasoned, it varies!
How often do couples married for more than 25 years actually have sex?
1. Some have sex once or twice a week.
“I have been married 32 years and we are intimate once, sometimes twice a week.”
2. Some don't have sex at all anymore due to hormonal changes.
“My husband and I are in our early 60s and unfortunately, sex is zero times per week, month or otherwise. We've been married almost 26 years and the first 20-some were wonderful in the bedroom.
"Menopause hit and I was on doses of estrogen and things were going fine. However, studies came out showing hormone replacement therapy caused a bunch of medical problems and my girlfriends encouraged me to quit. Dumbest thing I ever did.
"I went through another round of menopause symptoms which stripped me of all desire and made intercourse extremely painful. I tried taking creams, pills, patches, whatever, to increase estrogen over the years but nothing ever worked. Husband is not happy but has resigned himself to the future.
"I feel bad for him and yes, I could pleasure him, but attitude-wise, that's right up there with doing the laundry. It's a chore I'd rather not be stuck with.”
3. Some have sex twice a week on average.
“Our 25th anniversary is coming up and we have sex, on average, twice a week. Usually after our date night on Thursdays (sometimes more than once) and again a few other times when we can get it in. There are times, however, as I age where I just don't feel like it.
"The longest we've ever gone without being intimate, save for the birth of our children, was two weeks.”
4. Some can't even remember what sex is.
"Can someone remind me exactly what sex is? It's been so long I can't remember."
5. Some couples are more into foreplay than sex as empty-nesters.
"Twenty years ago we stole every moment we could to have sex. Now we're empty nesters so we can have sex anytime we want so the thrill of sneaking a moment is gone but instead we have foreplay all day long with looks, texts (yes, we're old but we sext!), and sometimes we simply plan it.
"Life can get extremely busy and a week can go by whether neither of us initiates. We know each other so well that you never have to worry about a laughing spurt, or anything else that may have embarrassed us 20 years ago."
6. Some couples say eff you instead of eff me.
“Three stages of marriage: The newlywed stage, you have sex in every room of the house; the honeymoon is over stage, you have sex in just the bedroom; and the 'been married for a long time' stage, you walk by each other in the hallway and say eff you!”
7. Some never have sex ... and are now headed to divorce court.
"I'm in the middle of a divorce. We almost made it to 25 years. After 10 years and the third child, things went from infrequently to non-existent by the time we filed for the divorce."
Aly Walansky is a New York City-based lifestyle writer with nearly two decades of writing experience for various digital publications.