3 Tiny Things Confident, Fearless Women Over 40 Do Differently
How to celebrate the best decade of your life.
So, here's a question, ladies — Do you believe it's arrogant or selfish to celebrate ... yourself? Are you the type of woman (and women over 40 seem to struggle with this the most) who receives a compliment and immediately replies with, "Oh, this old thing," or, "Yeah, but (insert reason you shouldn't be complimented here)," rather than a simple, "Thank you"? Do you deny the compliment-giver the gift of giving? Well, it's time to look at what this is doing to your health and relationships by stunting your confidence and self-esteem. Guy Winch, Ph.D writes in Psychology Today, "More often than not, how receptive we are to compliments is reflective of our self-esteem and deep feelings of self-worth." Therefore, fully celebrating your fabulous-over-40 self opens up an inner power that is your birthright as a woman.
Here are 3 things all confident, fearless women over 40 do differently:
1. Acknowledge your inner superhero
You do and achieve so much more than you give yourself credit for. You do amazing things because you have to, or because they are habits and that's "just what I do." By paying attention to how many individual activities go into a single day, it becomes clear how much of a superhero you truly are. So, start celebrating your smallest victories — whether that's saying "woohoo!" or a yoga class, a vacation, or a new car. You'll instantly feel more successful and confident.
And that beautiful confidence shows in your body language, truly influencing how people see and think of you. It also attracts other confident people into your life. Feeling good about yourself improves all of your relationships, aligning them with your underlying greatness, while chasing away those that are not in your best interest. Your confidence is much too powerful for insecure people and that's okay. No need to put an anchor on your balloon of awesomeness.
2. Lead the charge in getting your own needs met
If you're waiting for someone else to celebrate you, it might be a long wait. Don't leave your needs (or self-esteem) vulnerable and up in the air. You can't control others. Since they base their opinion of you on what you reflect to them, what they do or don't like about themselves, your successes may be purposely underplayed, deleting celebrations altogether.
This can leave you feeling "not good enough" and striving to please people or prove yourself. Both responses attempt to avoid something you don't want, which lowers your energetic vibration and magnetizes more challenges and things to things to prove in your life. Ah, yes. The cycle of misery so many unknowingly subscribe to that sabotages their happiness. Instead, take responsibility for cheering yourself on. Then, when others want to surround themselves with you because your confidence draws them in, they are a bonus, not your life raft.
3. Adjust your energy to improve your life instantly
Celebrating and feeling good about what you accomplish magnetizes more to celebrate in your life. Every emotion you have holds energy that attracts other energy at its same frequency. You've probably heard or said, "When it rains, it pours," "Things always come in threes," "We're on the same page," or "We just seem to get one another." Like energy attracts like energy, or whatever is on a similar frequency. You just have to decide which frequency you want to frequent.
On a scale of 0-10, consider that gratitude and happiness are around 9 or 10 and anger and complaining are around 3 or 4. Which do you want more of? If it is 9s and 10s, keep your spirits up by celebrating even the smallest wins and accomplishments to keep those good things coming your way. Now you can see why it's important to celebrate YOU, even if you're the only one at the party (by the way, me-parties ROCK). The confidence and self-esteem boost you get, in addition to attracting new empowering people and situations into your life, dramatically and positively impact your mental, emotional, and physical health and relationships.
Kelly Rudolph is a Certified Life Coach and Hypnotherapist who helps her clients manage stress and experience personal growth through greater confidence.