If A Person Has These Rare 7 Qualities, They’re Probably The Firstborn, According To Psychology
Birth order can shape personality in myriad ways.
Dean Drobot | Canva Oldest children are the best kind of children. (But, of course, I'm biased because I'm an oldest child myself — of five!) If you have the good fortune of loving/dating/marrying a firstborn, congrats to you, you're in for a fun ride.
Just buckle your seat belt first and pay attention to these safety instructions. Knowing what qualities to expect in a firstborn will help you prepare for the bumpy ride ahead. Or maybe you recognize these traits in yourself, in which case, I'm waving hi to my fellow firstborn!
If a person has these rare qualities, they’re probably the firstborn child:
1. Bossy
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Oldest children are used to ruling the roost and telling their pep squad of little siblings what to do and how to do it. This works until little bro and sis get old enough and put you in your place. But still, the bossiness remains.
2. Entitled
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Our parents gave us every opportunity in the world, fawned over us, took more baby photos of us, and were more careful the first time around with us, so we're used to being treated a little special. Life, and all its hardships, have a way of chipping away at this perceived "uniqueness," but still, we got more attention than the rest of our siblings, and it's something that sticks with us forever.
While not every firstborn child exhibits entitlement, birth order theory suggests that they may develop a sense of entitlement due to several factors. Firstborns often receive more undivided parental attention, leading to a greater focus on their needs and a belief that they deserve special treatment.
This can be exacerbated by the fact that they may be expected to set an example for younger siblings, further solidifying their perceived authority and power within the family. Parents' often more anxious and rule-oriented approach with their firstborn, aiming for perfection, can lead to a strong sense of rightness and a belief in their superiority.
3. Hungry for validation
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Our parents praised our every move and yes, I know, they really should've cut back on that a bit. But as a result of this, we like to be patted on the back and given gold stars when we've done something positive.
Firstborn children might feel the need to seek validation due to several factors, including a higher need for approval, the pressure of expectations, and potential feelings of insecurity stemming from a shift in parental focus after younger siblings arrive. One 2023 study explained that their need for approval may be heightened due to the unique parenting styles they experience, including more attentive and potentially stricter approaches compared to later-born siblings.
4. Overachieving
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We like to be praised, therefore, we achieve. According to Dr. Kevin Leman, author of The Birth Order Book, when parents gush over the oldest sibling's "firsts," it feeds into this attitude, motivating them to achieve further. Apologies to younger siblings everywhere who have to live up to their oldest siblings.
5. Driven
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It's just what we do. If something needs to be accomplished at work, we will accomplish it — or delegate it to one of our younger siblings (er, employees) to do it for us.
Research suggests that firstborn children tend to exhibit greater initiative and leadership qualities due to various factors related to their position in the family and how they are raised. These include increased parental attention, the responsibility of role models for younger siblings, and potentially higher cognitive stimulation.
6. Organized
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We can organize large groups of people with our eyes shut. We've been herding our family of sheep into minivans/airplanes/restaurants/etc. for years now; corralling people into a semblance of unity should basically be on our resume — in fact, I think it is.
7. Possessive
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Because seriously, our little siblings have been stealing our sweaters/eyeliner/car for years now, and we're really over it. We don't like it when people use or touch our stuff without permission.
Firstborn children may experience challenges with sharing due to factors like their unique developmental stage and how they perceive ownership and empathy. A PNAS study found that while younger children are still learning to understand these concepts, firstborns may have a stronger sense of possession and difficulty grasping the idea of sharing.
Alex Alexander is a pseudonym. The author of this article is known to YourTango but is choosing to remain anonymous.
