17 Thoughts We'll Have While Watching 'Fifty Shades Of Grey'

Side effects include stink-eye, dry-heaving, and intense feelings of being turned off.

Fifty Shades of Grey 50 Shades Of Grey Dakota Johnson Jamie Dornan Christian Grey Ana Steele
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Women all over the country will be flocking to the theater this weekend to see Fifty Shades Of Grey, the first in a three-part movie series. Lord, help us.

The reviews hit hard this week. At a surprisingly high 33 percent on Rotten Tomatoes at the time of writing (note: this writer does expect that rating to drop as more votes come in...), our expectations are about as low as can be. For what it's worth, this movie could (but probably not) have some redeeming moments. We've heard there are some jokes!

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While called by some as the worst movie they've ever seen, Dakota Johnson has received some praise for her portrayal of wimpy Anastasia Steele. But the same can't be said for Jamie Dornan as Mr. Grey. He's been called "a casting disaster."

We have yet to see the movie, but we're sure these will be some of the thoughts running through our mind during those two hours of suffering.

Cue the gags. (And not the sexual ones.)

1.OK, so this is awkward Haven't quite felt it this intensely before.

Justin Timberlake - mashable

Justin Timberlake - mashable

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2.Nope, nobody talks like that The writing is atrocious!

Fifty Shades of Grey - PerezHilton

Fifty Shades of Grey - PerezHilton

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3.Why am I here again?

The Little Mermaid - raiseyourflag

The Little Mermaid - raiseyourflag

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4.How much longer is this movie? Please free me And Anastasia.

Dakota Johnson - tumblr

Dakota Johnson - tumblr

5.Time for a popcorn refill

Matthew Broderick - imgur

Matthew Broderick - imgur

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6.Jamie Dornan Terrible actor. Not-so-terrible abs.

Jamie Dornan as Christian Grey - wikia

Jamie Dornan as Christian Grey - wikia

7.Who bites her lips this much?

Dakota Johnson as Anastasia Steele - tumblr

Dakota Johnson as Anastasia Steele - tumblr

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8.Fully hate-watching

That '70s Show - cuny

That '70s Show - cuny

9.I should have watched this at home Alone. Not with 300 horny women.

Allison Williams on 'GIRLS' - wordpress

Allison Williams on 'GIRLS' - wordpress

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10.Oh God, do I hear a woman moaning in this theater?

Emma Stone - popsugar

Emma Stone - popsugar

11.There are too many people here and they're too excited

Rebel Wilson - tumblr

Rebel Wilson - tumblr

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12.Again, why did I do this to myself?

Andy Samberg - gurl

Andy Samberg - gurl

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13.Maybe this means I'm a masochist?

Adam Pally - goodreads

Adam Pally - goodreads

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14.This is not sexy This is the opposite of chemistry. Didn't they test the actors for chemistry before casting?

Dakota Johnson and Jamie Dornan in '50 Shades Of Grey' - tumblr

Dakota Johnson and Jamie Dornan in '50 Shades Of Grey' - tumblr

15.Still rooting for Ian Somerhalder as Christian

Ian Somerhalder - tumblr

Ian Somerhalder - tumblr

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16.Are they really going to make two more of these movies? Why must that happen? Can we get a new cast?

Sarah Jessica Parker as Carrie on 'SATC' - backstage

Sarah Jessica Parker as Carrie on 'SATC' - backstage

17.And just how many times are they going to say vanilla?

Jason Segel - wordpress

Jason Segel - wordpress

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