If He Does These 24 Things, Congrats! You Found Your Soulmate
Is he my soulmate?
getty By Hilary White
There are people you meet who, for no reason you can explain, you share a connection with on a deeper level than anyone else you've ever known.
Whether you believe in the kind of a soulmate born from fiction and fairy tales, or simply hope that there is someone out there who is meant just for you, there are some soulmate signs to tell if you're on the right track to finding them.
And if you've found the one who truly understands and knows you (and loves you still), don't let go — they only come around once in a lifetime!
How do you know if he's your soulmate?
A ton of people will answer this question by saying "you just know." But how do you "just know"?
You'll know when being with him feels easy. You'll know when his personality traits complement yours. You'll know when you accept one another for your true selves, without trying to change anything about him. His happiness is yours, and vice versa.
"A soulmate is someone who comes into your life and shakes things up, who wakes you to the possibilities of the world. You will feel it when they arrive. Don't kid yourself into thinking that person who hurts you is your 'soulmate' because they aren't. Period," adds life coach Mitzi Bockmann.
24 Signs He's Your Soulmate
1. You can convey what you're thinking by just looking at each other.
You probably won't unlock the superpower of telepathy, but you may have a special connection where you can tell what he's thinking by just one look. When you fall in love with him, you understand how his mind works.
2. You can't even remember what it was like to be without them — and you don't want to!
Once you have met your soulmate, you won't want to go back to the life you had before them. Heck, you probably won't even remember what it was like living without him.
3. They challenge you every single day.
Soulmates don't let you slip into bad habits. They are there to challenge you to be the best person you can be.
They want to see you succeed and live an amazing life because they care deeply for you. And you will do the same for them because you both want to be successful together.
4. They know exactly what to do to calm you down when you're mad, to help relieve your stress, or to cheer you up.
He's your soulmate if he knows exactly what to do to make you feel better, no matter the situation.
If you're mad, he knows how to put your mind at ease. If you're sad, he knows how to cheer you up. If you're stressed, he knows just what will relax you. He knows everything about you by paying attention, and will always be there to help.
5. They also know exactly what to do to get under your skin... and they at least attempt to not do those things.
With great power comes great responsibility, right? Well, your soulmate has the power to know every little thing that makes you tick. But it's their responsibility to try not to do those things.
If he knows you hate having too many dishes in the sink, he will wash them. If he knows that a certain song drives you mad, he will go out of his way to make sure you never hear it. It really is the little things that matter most.
6. Even after years of being together, you still have great chemistry.
Many people will tell you that being in a long-term relationship for years on end can get dull or downright boring. But that's not the case with your soulmate.
You have chemistry that will last a lifetime. You'll always have the hots for each other, even as you age.
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7. You are completely comfortable in their presence.
You're at ease when he's around. In fact, you could sit in complete silence with each other and be perfectly content with that. You don't feel the need to constantly fill the silence between the two of you; just their presence brings you peace.
"Feeling comfortable is so important because without this, how can you trust and build true intimacy?" asks dating coach Ronnie Ann Ryan. "Feeling comfortable and able to be your authentic self is a vital piece of connecting with your soulmate. If you can’t be who you really are, the relationship will not be sustainable. So when you find that, it’s so beautiful."
8. After spending a few days apart, you both talk a mile a minute to catch each other up on everything you both missed.
You feel so excited to tell your soulmate everything that has happened to you while he was away. You're also interested in what he's been up to. That mutual interest is a huge sign he's your soulmate. You also won't get bored, and will stretch the conversation as long as possible before having to say goodbye again.
How do you feel when you see your soulmate, especially after being away from each other for a long period of time? It's like a level of elation you never knew existed. You're brimming with anticipation of seeing your partner, and nothing in the world can bring you down from that high.
9. It feels like you've known each other your whole lives.
When you first meet your soulmate, you have an instant connection and it feels like you have known him your entire life. You may have even felt like you were meeting someone from a past life. Others may feel like you're moving too fast, but you know practically everything about him already.
"I’ve come to know in 30 years of personal development and many years of education that a soulmate is simply a person to whom we have a lesson to learn, and that person we will have a strong attraction with. It will be magnetic and it will feel as if we know the person, that they seem familiar," comments relationship coach Lisa Hawkins.
10. You disagree on some things but are always on the same page when it really matters.
Soulmates can disagree. You don't have to be unanimous on every topic, and arguments will happen. Even if you feel like one soul, you're still two people who will have differences.
With big issues or important matters, like your beliefs and morals, you're easily in agreement.
"Create a Philosophical Agreement around how to approach issues, processes, and the overall relationship," suggests relationship coach Tony Vear. "How you do this is by being clear that you understand your partner completely, your partner understands you completely, you're clear that your partner understands you, and your partner is fully clear that you understand them.
Vear continues, "This allows you to blend your various desires, viewpoints, strategies, and creativity in ways that create solutions to problems as they occur and helps you both find new ways to make your relationship better."
11. Their family feels like your own family.
If you can call your partner's parents mom and dad, you have found your soulmate. It's no longer "your mom" or "my dad" when you discuss families because you consider both of your families as one.
You feel comfortable being yourself around them and don't feel like you have to hide certain aspects of your personality. You no longer feel the need to impress your partner's parents, but rather feel comfortable enough to discuss personal things with them.
12. You have a bond that people around you don't understand.
Soulmates have a special bond where they can feel and understand each other, usually to a degree that people outside of the relationship don't understand. Soulmates have a strong connection with each other, which is why many are said to be able to read each other's souls.
For example, you can tell when something isn't right with your other half without even being in the same room.
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13. You don't feel the need to keep searching for more because you are so at peace with what you have.
If you're with your soulmate, you don't feel the need to keep looking for "the one" because you already have him. You feel like there's no one else in the world who is a better match than the person you're with.
You may not even notice other men around or pick up on their flirting because you just don't care about them. All you care about is your soulmate.
14. You hurt when they hurt; you smile when they smile.
The concept of a soulmate is that each partner has half a soul; when reunited with the other half, two halves become whole and feel complete. When you have found your soulmate, you can feel what they feel. If they are upset, anxious, sad, or mad, you feel it.
15. They are part of almost every story you tell.
If he's your soulmate, you'll want him around most, if not all, of the time. Because you spend so much time together, the stories you tell others almost always involve him. That means he's such a huge part of your life.
16. They think the weird, quirky things you do are adorable, and you feel the same way about them, too.
Quirks are what make us unique and special. Even if you think they are strange, a soulmate will find these attributes sweet, rather than odd and peculiar. A soulmate won't make you feel weird, but rather make your quirks seem like treasures to them.
17. You are a better person with them than without them.
Your soulmate will bring out the best in you. You realize that you like who you are when they are around. You change your unhealthy ways to create a better life for both you and your soulmate. They help you uncover the real you, inspiring you to grow every day.
18. They support you and your dreams — even if they don't entirely understand them.
This is so important in strong relationships. The person you're with is supposed to help you achieve your dreams, whether they understand your passions or not.
Relationships are all about finding the one person who will work with you to reach your dreams. And having a support system in a partner is crucial.
"When you find a partner who is supportive, you have found gold. This is definitely a sign of having met your soulmate," Ronnie Ryan says. "What could be better than a partner who has your back? Knowing you can count on someone provides a level of foundation like nothing else can."
But, Ronnie Ryan urges, "You need to be self-sufficient... it's great to be able to count on someone you love as well. This is how you go beyond where you could on your own."
19. You are a dynamic duo, a perfect pair, a true team.
You'll know he's your soulmate if you work well together. If there's a problem, you both put in effort and brainpower to make it right. You balance each other out.
For example, he may be adventurous and spontaneous, and you might be a solid planner. You keep him grounded while he gives you new experiences.
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20. You feel protected by them and secure in your relationship.
There's no more guessing if he really loves you or if he wants to be with you. He's shown you and reassured you that you are what he wants.
Your soulmate doesn't give you any reason to doubt him. You no longer wonder if he'd rather be somewhere else when he's with you. You trust your relationship and you trust his love for you.
You also feel safe around him and know that he will do anything to protect you. Heck, you could be in the middle of the jungle and feel safe!
21. For the first time in your life, you realize that home is not a place, but a person.
This is when you get the feeling of complete peace whenever he's around and feel lost without him. If you don't live together, you may not feel at home as you used to in your own place. You'd rather have him there with you, or you'd rather leave your own place and be wherever he is.
No matter where you go, you always feel at home with your partner around.
However, adds Hawkins, "Home should be within ourselves, always. When we have self-love and acceptance of ourselves, we have this security of knowing that no matter what happens in this relationship, you’ll be okay."
So find home within yourself first, before inviting another person in.
22. In some ways, you have become pretty much the same person.
This doesn't mean you changed yourself to be like him. It means you have picked up a few quirks or sayings from him, and vice versa.
This also means you two share a soulmate connection, which is a close bond where you feel when the other is sad, or know when something is wrong with them before they even know it themselves.
You might even be able to communicate without actually talking to each other. You could share a look and he'd know exactly what you were saying in your head.
23. You are your best and worst self around them, and they love you for both.
It's important for you to be able to be your worst self without fear of judgment from the person you love. The fact that you can be your worst self shows how vulnerable and comfortable you feel around him.
"Any healthy relationship should have this. We should be able to be our best and worst around them, and they still find us lovable," Hawkins reminds us.
This allows for you to have deep, meaningful conversations together and witness growth. It also allows you to drop the mask you put up for everyone else. It gives you some time to rest because, honestly, being a good person all the time can be exhausting.
24. You know, in your gut, that this is it for you.
This brings us back to the beginning. You just know he's it for you. You feel it in your gut, in your heart, even in your toes. You may not need reasons to find your soulmate, but he's out there waiting for you.
Hilary White is a writer and former editor for PopSugar Living, Culture and Voices.