Why I Like It When Other Women Hit On My Husband
Look but don't touch—and I'm placing emphasis on the "look" part.
getty By Sasha Brown-Worsham
In the early part of my relationship with my husband, I was DEFINITELY the jealous sort. If a girl got within five feet of my then-boyfriend, I was ready to throw down. More than one near physical fight was averted by my boyfriend dragging me into another room and talking me down.
To be fair, he had given me a reason to be jealous. My then-boyfriend was all about "casually" dating me and several other women at the same time. By the time we committed and he was only dating me, my trust was not exactly high.
Even given those facts, my jealousy was out of control. Back then it would have been hard to imagine that I would someday say I liked when other women noticed my husband or that I enjoyed it when women asked if he has a brother or called him a "catch."
But sure enough, more than a decade after those fits of rage, that's exactly what I feel.
So go ahead and ogle my man. It makes me happy.
Let's be clear: It's not like it happens every day. Women are not crawling out of the woodwork to throw themselves at my husband (as handsome and wonderful as you are, Sweetie!).
But when a woman we'd just met asked my husband recently if he'd be willing to give her husband lessons on being a perfect hubby, I was tickled. It reminds me that I am lucky.
Because I AM lucky.
My husband is a great dad, a good cook who brews his own beer and makes incredible homemade stuffed pretzels (among many other dishes).
He's also a terrific provider who has pushed the limits of his career in order to give us lovely family vacations, a nice house, and plenty of opportunities for the kids. He is successful in his career but also always keeps family first.
Plus, he has a really cute bum.
It's way too easy to get caught up in the negatives in a marriage, to focus on all the things our husbands are NOT.
And there are PLENTY of those. He hates doing the dishes, has to be reminded 50 times to take out the trash, brings work stress home with him a lot, and definitely doesn't care enough about fashion.
If it were up to me, sometimes I would get mired in all that and focus only on what he doesn't do. Sometimes all it takes is another woman telling me how lucky I am — or even hitting on him when I am NOT around -- to remind me that I have to stay on my game and that I am blessed to have him.
No man is perfect. I get it. But it's far too easy to completely forget all the good in our rush to focus on the bad.
There are times I absolutely rage at my husband. When he gets up from the dinner table to take a work call (again) or prioritizes an email reply over our infant daughter's cries, it makes me crazy.
It's not just me, either. He often takes me for granted, too.
With three kids and two full-time jobs between us, plus a dog and a cat, there are times where it is very easy to forget each other's value. I know he also notices -- and likes -- when a man we pass looks me up and down or when someone says his wife is awesome. It's a reminder to him to stay on HIS game.
A decade ago, I knew he was someone other women wanted, and that made me desperately insecure. But I'm not insecure anymore. He's deeply invested in me and in our family. He's all mine at this point.
So now when he tells me that another woman chatted him up in a bar when he was with the guys or casually asked him out while he was at Home Depot, I am not thrown into a fit of fury. Instead, it's just a reminder that other women don't see the socks on the floor, beard shavings in the sink, or unwashed dishes. They see a good-looking man with a lot of talents.
It's a reminder that what we have is enviable and precious and I should never take it for granted.
So, go ahead, check out my husband. He's pretty awesome, right?
That's why I picked him.
Sasha Brown-Worsham is a writer and mom of two from Boston, Mass. Her work has appeared in Runner’s World, Babble.com, Parenting, Parents, the Boston Globe and many more.