The 20 Worst Pick Up Lines That NEVER Work

Last night, as yours truly was occupying a seat on a subway platform bench, leafing through the newly obtained Rubin Museum Catalog, a young man in his 20s approached me. At first, he complimented me on my hair.

I said "thank you" and continued to leaf. Then he mumbled something. I asked what he wanted — twice. He was asking my name. I told him. He reciprocated.

Still thinking nothing other than how polite young men are these days, I stared at my bible-sized book when I heard the following: "Yo, baby, why don't me and you go chilling or something?"

I almost dropped the catalog on my foot (which would easily decapitate my big toe or in the best case scenario leave me limping for a few years).

I did not see that one coming.

I believe that was a pick up. I am not sure what left me more flabbergasted — the fact that the young man who could be my much younger brother was hitting on me or the hideousness of that pick up attempt full of dating fails.

I decided it was the latter — because it had me laughing all the way home. I also started to think back about all the terrible pick up lines I have heard from my clients. They were numerous and they were bad — like, I want to cringe, roll up into a ball and hide under my blanket bad.

Yet over the years, men had insisted on using them to pick up women.

Gentlemen, I can assure you no woman was, is or ever will be attracted or even remotely interested as a result of these.

The only thing they are good for is a good laugh around the table with our girlfriends.

As for you guys, anything you want to use as a pick up line, please run it by a few people first (preferably of the female persuasion) just to gage its sanity and/or usefulness.

So while we wait for all the guys out there to equip themselves with less woman-repellent openers, I present to you, in no particular order, the 20 pick up lines that never work.

1. "Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?"