10 Most Toxic Money Personalities (That Ruin Good Relationships)
How people use money the wrong way.
Dean Drobot, cottonbro studio, DAPA Images | Canva Compulsive spenders and debtors misuse money and credit in different ways, yet their behavior inevitably leads to self-loathing, unhappiness, or shattered relationships. Perhaps you or someone in your life will identify with one of these 10 negative money personalities.
Here are the 10 most toxic money personalities that ruin good relationships:
1. Cinderella
Cinderellas are usually women I think of as the "genteel poor." They are intelligent and creative but seem unable to earn enough money to do more than get by. Cinderellas usually spend irresponsibly because they expect Prince Charming to rescue them. At times friends or family may take them in or help by providing food, shelter, and kindness.
2. The rebel
Spending was a form of temper tantrum for Dave. His parents were constantly complaining that they couldn't make ends meet. "We can't afford it" was their theme song. Teenage Dave hung around with kids from affluent homes. He became increasingly frustrated that he couldn't have what they did. He rationalized, "I'm as good as the next guy. Why not spend?" Dave's fury toward his parents' philosophy led him to a life of compulsive spending as if money burned a hole in his pocket.
3. Secondhand Rose
Toni was a "Secondhand Rose." She filled her home with things, all purchased in thrift stores and swap meets. She rationalized, "If I buy that item, my life will miraculously change. I only spent $8 instead of $80." As a result, she spent all the money she saved to put herself through school. Toni learned this attitude from her mother who loved shopping too, but forbade buying anything new.
4. The savior
Saviors help others in need. Olivia frittered away an inheritance because she couldn't resist helping people with hard luck stories. Her family brought her up to believe altruism was important. A good person gives to those who are needy, but because she secretly believed she didn't deserve to feel better than most people, she didn't take care of her needs first.
5. The status seeker
These people use money to impress others. Sometimes they come from poor families and spend compulsively to create a life they never had. Debby's excuse was that she needed expensive clothes because she was dating a man whose lifestyle included going out to trendy places. She had to look right for acceptance. Debby fantasized that credit cards weren't real money, and since there was still cash in her bank account, she could charge as much as she wanted.
6. The magical child
Gail and Gary were spending binge buddies. When they faced bankruptcy, Gail asked Gary what they should do. He replied, "Let's hang in there and pray to God." The Magical Child prefers to deny reality and imagine that his problem will resolve itself in some fabulous or miraculous way. This couple had a "When my ship comes in" mentality, although they liked to live and spend as if their ship was already in port.
7. The daredevil
Richard owned a successful business and loved to live life on the edge. He purchased an expensive home and generally enjoyed a rich lifestyle. Because of his addiction to thrill, he held his breath each month when the payroll was due, fearful he wouldn't have enough money left to pay his employees.
8. The dummy
Sybil grew up in a wealthy family where women spent most of their time doing good work in the community and life was pleasant. "I think the first two words I learned were charge it," she said. Her family treated women like children, gave them an allowance, and never taught them about investing, earning, or acting responsibly with money. As a result, today Sybil is broke, helpless, and depressed.
9. The needy greedy child
Marie didn't feel loved as a child. As she grew up and started earning money, she became the indulgent mother she never had. When she felt emotionally needy, she acted greedy and spent her money on herself, indulging her desire for rich food and expensive shoes. As a result, she battled both compulsive overeating and compulsive spending.
10. The spoiled brat
Diane loved to shop. When she ran out of money or felt too guilty to charge, she sometimes shoplifted small items because the craving was so strong that she felt powerless to say no. Diane's parents treated her like a princess and never said no to her. Not only could she have whatever she wanted, but her parents also presented clothes and toys to her before she could even wish for them. Diane's mother was like a wonderful fairy godmother, producing lovely things and anticipating her desires.
Gloria Arenson is a psychotherapist, specializing in energy and power therapies. She is the author of popular books on eating disorders and compulsive behavior, conducts classes and workshops nationwide, and trains professionals in Meridian Therapy.