41 Anti-Love Quotes From The World's Most Famous Cynics
Gotten burned by love? Play it cool with one of these zingers.
Whether it's a funny one-liner or a genuinely jaded jab, sometimes great love quotes can really speak to what you're feeling — especially when you're feeling the sting of love gone south.
Continue below to read what some of the world's greatest cynics had to say about love in these anti-love quotes:
1. "Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution." — Mae West
2. "Love is a promise delivered already broken." — Steve Martin
3. "Men should be like Kleenex: soft, strong, disposable." — Cher
4. "My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met." — Rodney Dangerfield
5. "Love is a temporary insanity curable by marriage." — Ambrose Bierce
6. "By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher." — Socrates
7. "A kiss may ruin a human life." — Oscar Wilde
8. "My love life is like a piece of Swiss cheese. Most of it's missing, and what's there stinks." — Joan Rivers
9. "Love is a grave mental disease." — Plato
10. "You can't buy love, but you can pay heavily for it." — Henny Youngman
11. "Marriage is like a tense, unfunny version of 'Everybody Loves Raymond', only it doesn't last 22 minutes. It lasts forever." — "Knocked Up"
12. "If you want to sacrifice the admiration of many men for the criticism of one, go ahead, get married." — Katharine Hepburn
13. "Behind every successful man is a woman, and behind her is his wife." — Groucho Marx
14. "Love is an exploding cigar we willingly smoke." — Lynda Barry
15. "Love is a trap. When it appears, we see only its light, not its shadows." — Paulo Coelho
16. "Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes." — Jim Carrey
17. "Love in action is a harsh and dreadful thing compared with love in dreams." — Fyodor Dostoyevsky
18. "Deceiving others. That is what the world calls a romance." — Oscar Wilde
19. "A man is only as faithful as his options." — Chris Rock
20. "Romance has been elegantly defined as the offspring of fiction and love." — Isaac Disraeli
21. "Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can never tell." ― Joan Crawford
22. "Love can change a person the way a parent can change a baby: awkwardly, and often with a great deal of mess." ― Lemony Snicket
23. "Love sucks. Sometimes it feels good. Sometimes it's just another way to bleed." ― Laurell K. Hamilton
24. "The most happy marriage I can picture or imagine to myself would be the union of a deaf man to a blind woman." — Samuel Taylor Coleridge
25. "Love is a many splintered thing." — The Simpsons
26. "God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time." — Robin Williams
27. "Falling in love is so hard on the knees." — Aerosmith
28. "You can never be wise and be in love at the same time." ― Bob Dylan
29. "My love is expansive. Your love is expensive. " ― Jarod Kintz
30. "Love is only the dirty trick played on us to achieve continuation of the species." — W. Somerset Maugham
31. "Can there be a love which does not make demands on its object?" — Confucius
32. "A woman is faithful to her first lover for a long time — unless she happens to take a second." — Francois de La Rochefoucauld
33. "Married men live longer than single men. But married men are a lot more willing to die." — Johnny Carson
34. "No woman ever falls in love with a man unless she has a better opinion of him than he deserves." — Edgar Watson Howe
35. "A woman tries to get all she can out of a man, and a man tries to get all he can into a woman." — Isaac Goldberg
36. "A man's love is incomplete until he has married, then he is finished." — Zsa Zsa Gabor
37. "What's love but a secondhand emotion?" — Tina Turner
38. "People who throw kisses are hopelessly lazy." — Bob Hope
39. "Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city." — George Burns
40. "Honeymoon: A short period of doting between dating and debating." — Ray Bandy
41. "I've had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it." — Groucho Marx
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