Relax: It's Okay If You Don't Obsess Over Your Baby's Milestones

With my first daughter, I carefully preserved every memory, writing down detailed letters to her every week and updating her baby book with each milestone from her first tooth to her first haircut. As a parent, I was certain I would treasure each and every memory forever.

Fast forward four years and after having two more children, I'm having trouble just remembering their names.

OK, so it's not that bad. But honestly, it can be hard to overcome the extreme guilt that plagues me when I think of the not-so-distant future when my kids are going to pull out their baby books and my youngest will turn to me with heartbreakingly sad eyes and ask me why his is not filled out.

Oops.

But if there's one thing I've learned in my years as a mom of three, it's that I need to let go of the guilt and focus on what really matters. Here's how I've learned to appreciate and remember my baby's milestones (even when they're not my first):

1. Live in the moment. The plain and simple truth is that when I had just one child, I had a lot more time on my hands. Yes, having one baby was all consuming and overwhelming but I also had just one child to worry about, so of course all of my attention and free time was lavished on her. With more children, I just don't have the same amount of time or physical ability to capture each and every moment in a baby book, video, or picture like I did before. And that's okay. I am still enjoying and living in the moment — and this time around, I have more people around to clap when the baby starts crawling!

2. You're preserving memories without even realizing it. Who said moms have to have baby books anyways? Let's be honest—things have changed from the time our mothers lovingly kept our baby books. For starters, I'm addicted to blogging and I've captured random moments—big and small—in my children's lives that I might not have thought to capture for a traditional baby book. Whether it's a blog or Instagram, we need to realize that we capture way more of our children's lives than any mother before us. I didn't necessarily have those things with my first baby, but with my third, he is literally growing up on-screen. Keep reading ...

More co-parenting advice from YourTango:

3. We all mother differently. To some moms, consistently adding to the perfect baby book might be an important priority and if that's your passion, embrace it! If it's not, don't feel guilty for it. I think—as first-time moms—we preserve memories as a way of "breaking in" to motherhood or do it because we think it's something we are "supposed" to do. As you grow as a mother or add more kids to your brood, you start to learn to accept your strengths as a mother and admit that we're not all alike.

4. Looking back is hard. Yes, memories are important. Looking back at pictures of my children as babies is enough to make me want to melt into a weeping pile of mushy momness. At the same time, I know that as a mother, I am always going to struggle with accepting that my children are growing up—it's just hard for me. So learning to not obsess over every milestone with my other children has helped me look towards the future, instead of missing the past.

And if all else fails, hide the baby books. Problem solved.

Relax: It's Okay If You Don't Obsess Over Your Baby's Milestones

Didn't post your baby's first word on Facebook? It's ok. Live in the moment and go easy on yourself.

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