Do Not Date After A Breakup Before Considering 5 Major Things
How to make sure you're your best self when you start dating again.
Syda Productions | Canva No matter where you are in life the prospect of dating fills you with anxiety. If you haven't dated for any length of time it can seem even scarier. After the end of a long-term relationship, sometimes there is a lot of pressure to go out and date and find that new "plus one." Before you rush out the door, take a moment to read through these tips. They should help you turn a scary experience into one that you can enjoy.
Do not date after a breakup before considering 5 major things:
1. Be sure you are ready
There are plenty of people out there who will tell you that it's best to jump "right back on the horse." If you have only been dating casually, that advice is great. However, this is usually not a good idea after the end of a serious relationship. No matter what the cause or the circumstances, a relationship ended. Even if you were the one who walked, it is very emotional. Your self-esteem may have taken a beating. Give yourself space for your emotions to come back to normal. Do some things to nurture yourself. Make sure that you have given yourself the time to mourn and to heal.
2. Know what you want
What exactly are you getting back into the dating pool to do? Are you looking for someone content to date with no clear end in mind? Are you looking for a marriage partner? Exclusive or non-exclusive? Monogamous or not? Maybe you just want a companion to travel or have dinner with or go dancing or just hang out — with benefits or not? The clearer you are on what you want, the easier it is for you to spot it when it arrives. It is also much easier to know when the person standing before you is not on the same page.
3. Pamper yourself
Do things to make yourself feel good about the way you look — for you, not for anyone else. If it makes you feel good then have your hair done and your mani-pedi. Go out with friends and have fun. You being you, at ease with yourself, and the way you look and enjoy life makes you more attractive.
4. Keep an open mind
As you are getting back out there into the dating world remember to keep an open mind. Often after the end of a relationship, it is easy to see little things in anyone new that you meet that remind you of relationships past. It is important always to remember that each person is individual and unique. Don't rush to judgment until you've gotten to know the person a little better.
5. Keep it light-hearted
Go out and enjoy yourself. Find the humor even in the less-than-perfect dates. Think of them as lessons teaching you more about what you don't want. Don't take yourself or your date too seriously. Laugh about it all with your friends and let each date help you to get clearer on what you do want so that when it arrives there won’t be any doubt. So get on out there and have fun with it. Remember that happiness and laughter are attractive. Stay in the moment and enjoy each date for what it is. You'll have a great time, maybe some funny stories and just may meet that special someone.
Akua Bediako is a certified relationship coach, a certified passion test Facilitator, and a member of the International Coach Federation, and the Long Island Coaching Alliance. She helps her clients to enjoy life again, be set free of the baggage of their past, and be open to love fully again.