4 Deep Questions To Answer If You're Falling In Love Online
Online dating follows the same rules as dating in real life.
pixelfit | Canva Dating online can be the beginning of a long-lasting relationship. However, even though technology can speed up the time it takes to find someone, it still takes time to plant the seed and let it blossom into lasting love. When you have met a special person on the Internet, it may not be as easy to begin dating in life. They may live in another city, schedules may not work or because of personal reasons, it may be more comfortable to develop love online before going offline. Opening your heart to anyone can leave you vulnerable, but caring for someone that you can’t see or spend time with daily can be challenging. If you are falling for someone on the other side of the screen, make sure the feelings are mutual. Before answering yes, consider the following.
Here are 4 deep questions to answer if you're falling in love online:
1. Is he there for you?
Are you the one who seems to be setting the times to talk or connect? He should be actively participating in scheduling the online date times. If you are spending more time emailing and less time talking, video chatting, or texting, this is not a good sign. At some point, the veil of ambiguity has to be lifted. Your online relationship should become more intimate through conversations and face-to-face connections, even if that means using video to do so.
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2. When will you meet?
Although the jury is out as to when to meet your online interest, at some point, it has to happen. If days are suddenly weeks, and weeks have turned into months, something is amiss. Love can’t wait. Love shouldn’t wait. Unless you are parted by oceans and don’t qualify for a passport, there isn’t a logical reason to see someone that you are in love with and loves you. Don’t let excuses blind your common sense.
3. Can you go public or are you living in private?
If time has passed and you have established you are falling for each other, then you should be able to update your relationship statuses, be friends on Facebook, follow each other on Twitter, and be socially involved with his online life. However, if he resists including you as a part of his world, this is a red flag. His feelings for you should not have to be a secret. If he is telling YOU he loves you, he should be able to tell the world he loves you.
4. Do you act like a couple?
Do you send each other photos from places you go and talk about your friends and family? Sharing your daily life is a crucial step to getting to know someone and letting them into your heart. If your conversations are made up of mostly intimacy and baby talk, you aren’t falling in love, you are living in lust. Know the difference. If the only thing you have in common is a high drive, it may be good for the short term, but in the long run, you haven’t gotten to know each other. You should be able to share your day with him and have conversations about your life — and his. If he is only talking to you about intimacy and the things he would like to do when he sees you, this is all he is interested in, period. If you want more out of a relationship, let him know. Try not to justify bad behavior simply because you are dating online. You deserve as much respect and appreciation as if you were dating someone that you met at the library or a coffee shop. If someone tells you they love you, let their actions speak louder than their words.
Kimberly James is a dating expert who has been involved in the event marketing and dating industry for 15 years.
Telina McCord has always had a passion for exploring, analyzing, and reporting on human relationships. She wrote her entire master's thesis on The Evolution of Dating and became The Girl Who Dated 30 Guys in 30 Days.