21 Undeniable Benefits Of Being Divorced
How you can improve your life after divorce.
luza studios | Canva Breaking news: Divorce is difficult. Now, we're not trying to minimize that undeniable fact, but we do want you to know that there are benefits to enduring a marital dissolution as well. Like, remember when your mother told you that anything that doesn't kill you makes you stronger? Well, she was right ... but that isn't the only upside to the end of your marriage. Our experts came up with quite a list of advantages to your divorcee status, and here they are.
Here are 21 undeniable benefits of being divorced:
1. You will become a stronger person
As the saying goes, if you can get through this, you can get through anything.
2. You will become closer to your friends and appreciate them more
They can be a shoulder to lean on, a sounding board for advice, and a date when you want to go out.
3. You now control your life
You make the decisions you want to without having to consult with someone else.
4. You are independent
You do what you want when you want and how you want. This will increase your self-esteem.
5. You can grow as a person
Divorce can be the beginning of a fulfilling, better life. The only restrictions on your life will be those you impose.
6. You know better who you want to marry the next time around
You probably got married young, when you were still figuring out who you were. Now you can take the time to reflect on what happened in the relationship and what part you played in the breakup. Then you can decide what kind of person you want to be in a relationship and what you want in your partner. You most definitely know what you don't want in a partner.
7. You have learned to live alone ... and if another potential partner shows up great, if not, that's okay too
Because you have learned to love yourself, you are not desperate for another relationship.
8. You're better off
If your partner is abusive, you and your children should be out of there. Children learn by example and you do not want a bad example to teach them about marriage and relationships.
9. You can focus
There are some less-than-obvious but definite benefits of being a divorced woman. Those benefits exist, provided she chooses to focus her attention on her own life and the well-being of her children, rather than on the past and what she cannot change. This mental and emotional discipline separates those who thrive after divorce from those who merely get by or drown in bitterness and disappointment. Focus is key.
10. You'll gain strength
A divorced woman often grows stronger and more courageous than her married friends. She learns to balance new responsibilities along with the old ones and becomes more aware of her children's needs. She sees that she can solve unfamiliar problems and that she can get them done, even when feeling lower than low. This expanded strength will serve her well in many ways as she moves forward in her life.
11. You'll gain compassion
Those who have been through the painful, sorrowful, and gut-wrenching experience of divorce develop more empathy and compassion toward others. This pain opens her heart even more to others who are suffering. She becomes more relatable.
12. You'll become more creative
For every problem there is a solution and divorced women find those solutions. Human beings don't grow as much when things go smoothly. We stretch ourselves and expand our capabilities during times of crises and change. Divorce offers many opportunities to become creative problem-solvers and consequently expand our skills.
13. You'll exercise self-discipline
Women who have been through divorce learn the value of measuring words. To protect her children she exercises self-control and uses discretion when they are present. She learns patience when the divorce process doesn’t go well or quickly enough. She learns to monitor spending as financial circumstances change. A divorced woman gives her children more love and attention as their lives shift, even when she is dog-tired or stressed to the max.
14. You have the opportunity to reevaluate
While some doors close, divorce opens others. Divorced women have the opportunity to heal. They reevaluate themselves and their circumstances — Who am I now? Who and what do I want in my life? What's standing in the way and how can I clear those obstacles?
15. You can explore
Divorced women have the opportunity, in small and large ways, to explore possibilities. Even with limited time, she can look at course catalogs, take a class online, try a new sport, read about something that interests her, and emulate successful people. When a woman is conscious about how she goes through and recovers from divorce, keeping the focus on herself and on what's best for her children, the possibilities are endless.
16. You can please yourself for a change
You get to do what you please, when you please! There's no one asking, "What's for dinner?" "Do we have to go to that party tonight?" or "Are you going to wear that?" Believe me, there’s nothing more pleasing than being able to please yourself for a change, and remember; you deserve it!
17. You'll benefit from the rebound effect
The act of rebounding drives home the fact that there is such a thing as new love after divorce. Whether you wait two years to run headlong into a new pair of arms or stumble out there after only four days, the parameters of the rebound relationship are still the same. It's really good for you! And the mere act of kissing someone who isn't your ex-husband can make you feel almost new again.
18. Divorce looks good on you
It’s time for a whole new you; not just on an emotional level, but on a physical one as well. Take this opportunity to reinvent yourself by restyling your hair and revamping your wardrobe. A little retail therapy goes a long way when it comes to the healing process and what looks good on the outside will help you feel better on the inside too!
19. It's a chance to change habits and patterns
This is an ideal time to look at yourself and change habits and patterns that you don't like and that didn't work for you in your marriage. Seek out a qualified therapist or a brainstorm buddy who is there to support you, provide honest feedback, and help you embrace your new life.
20. It's an opportunity to be independent
Make a bucket list of all the things that you’ve always wanted to do and didn’t get to do when you were married. This may seem daunting and scary because you were used to doing everything as a couple but look at this as a golden opportunity for you to start living your life again as an independent woman.
21. You can make better choices
Rather than thinking of your marriage as a failure, view it as a stepping stone of experience. You most likely gained wisdom that will help you choose a better partner for yourself in the future. So, applaud yourself for having the courage to get out of something that wasn’t working, and be proud of yourself for moving forward on your own.
Carol Ferguson is a life coach who helps women find love after divorce. Micki McWade, LCSW, is a writer, Collaborative Divorce coach, psychotherapist, and parent educator who provides relevant information and assistance to help people move on in the best way possible. Rachel Gladstone is a humorist, author, writer, and book reviewer/columnist for All Booked Up at Dish Magazine. Sharon Rivkin is a therapist, conflict resolution, and affairs expert who helps couples resolve their relationship issues with wisdom.