5 Painfully Honest Reasons To End Your Relationship
It's time to accept that the relationship is over.
martin-dm | Canva You keep going through the motions, but not feeling it. This is how it sometimes goes when a relationship or marriage is at its end. The whole thing can seem like a bad dream and you just hope that one day, you'll wake up and it will be over. Some people want to wake up to the relationship they used to have with their partner. They long for the days of laughing together and not at one another. They yearn to talk and know their partner is eager to listen. They miss the time when no doubt being together was absolutely where they should be. Others want to wake up and finally be done with this nightmare. They are sick of the lying, the cheating, the arguments, and the cold bed. They long for a chance at love with someone else. They might even be looking forward to being alone to re-discover themselves.
Whether or not you truly want to work things out, maybe you're staying in a dying relationship for some of these reasons:
1. You can't afford to split up and financially support yourself
2. You worry about what a breakup will do to your kids
3. Ending the relationship seems to go against your values and beliefs
4. You believe this is your one chance at love
5. You're terrified to have to find dates or companionship again
6. You still love your partner and don't want to be apart
7. You hope a miracle happens and you two can improve things
Despite these valid reasons for staying in an unsatisfying and possibly unhealthy relationship, you may be spending a lot of time and energy wondering if you're making a huge mistake continuing in this relationship. It is helpful to get clear about what you truly want out of a relationship and in life. It's also helpful to be as objective as you can about what's going on right now between you and your partner. Decide what is wise and in your best interests.
Here are 5 painfully honest reasons it's time to end your relationship:
1. There is little or no healthy communication
Communication is essential for a close and connected relationship. If giving each other the silent treatment is an almost daily occurrence, this could be a sign of communication breakdown. The same thing goes for almost constant bickering, criticism, and arguing. Take a look at the communication habits that you both have and how much tension they bring.
2. Promises keep getting broken
Trust is another vital ingredient in a healthy relationship. While it can be rebuilt after lying or even cheating, repeated hits can damage trust beyond repair. If you or your partner consistently makes and breaks promises to one another, even little ones, this could be a sign that you would be wise to end the relationship.
3. You lead separate lives
We're all busy, but there is a big difference between being busy and leading separate lives. Think about the way you and your partner spend your time. Do you sometimes create excuses to stay at the office or be with other people and not with your partner? Does your partner seem to always be off doing his or her thing that you don't like or aren't interested in?
4. You can't remember the last time you had fun together
Again, look at how you and your partner tend to spend your time. When you are together, do you have fun or is it usually tense and contentious? Think back to the last time you two shared laughs or truly enjoyed one another's company. How far back do you have to go to find a memory like this? If your relationship has been troubled, it might be months or even years ago that you and your partner last had fun together. Pay attention to whether or not tensions between you seem to be getting more or less intense.
5. You can't envision a happy future together
Picture yourself in the most relaxing location you can think of. This might be your dream vacation spot but in your imagination, is your partner there with you? This is important to notice. As you envision the kind of happy and fulfilling future you want, can you easily see your partner fitting in? If your partner doesn't seem to fit with what you desire for your future, give serious thought to whether or not staying in the relationship is wise for you. Remember, this is your decision to make and every relationship is unique. Consider the facts of your current situation and listen to what you truly want as you choose whether to stay in or leave your relationship.
Susie and Otto Collins are Certified Transformative Coaches who help awaken love and possibilities in your life.