3 Tantric Sex Tips That'll Make Your Partner Orgasm In Seconds
Learn how qigong tantric techniques can boost your sex life and thrill your partner.
Kotin | Shutterstock Tantric sexuality is the method of infusing energy into every sensual interaction to connect your hearts, spirits and bodies to an energy greater than yourselves.
Tantric sex is a slow, meditative form of sex where the end goal is not orgasm but enjoying the sexual journey and sensations of the body.
Thus, it is a deeply spiritual and highly erotic way of sharing love with another person.
This sensual style of lovemaking is not about sexual gymnastics and long-enduring orgasmic experiences; instead, it is about creating the greatest level of emotional, spiritual, and physical intimacy with someone that you love and adore profoundly.
Tantric sex refers to a wide range of practices carried on in Hinduist and Buddhist tantra to exercise sexuality in a ritualized or yogic context. Tantra "denotes the esoteric traditions of Hinduism and Buddhism that developed in India from the middle of the 1st millennium CE onwards." So it's pretty cemented with its age.
Tantric lovemaking is not about experimenting with sexuality casually; it is for connecting at the deepest levels with someone that you wish to know at the most intimate level.
RELATED: Why Tantric Sex Is About So Much More Than Just 'The Kama Sutra'
These three ways can help you integrate a tantric sex into your relationship:
1. Open your heart energies that create higher levels of eroticism.
The most important aspect of tantric experiences is the conscious act of opening the heart center. This is why tantric lovemaking should be performed with a partner with whom you have developed deep love, commitment and trust, for your open heart has to be entrusted to someone that will care-take it well, and vice versa.
Tantric openings of the heart include these methods that come form the qigong system of self-massage.
Step 1: Caressing the center of chest on each other with a warming oil such as my lover's blend, designed to resonate with the heart. Go slowly, tracing the center of the chest with just fingertips while gazing into each other's eyes. Slowly widen the circle moving outward to the edges of the chest. Breathe deeply. Allow the emotions that are housed in the heart center to gently come to the surface. Trust and relax. Notice what comes up for both of you. Observe and feel.
Step 2: Next, allow your hands to connect with your partner's hands, palm to palm. Feel the energy of the palms. Once you feel a flow between your palms and your partner's palms, then gently kiss each other while keeping your palms connected. Breathe deeply as you kiss. Linger in the kiss and the touching of the palms, then allow yourselves to break from the kiss and caress the heart center again. What do you notice now about the heart center now?
If you take time to open the heart center as a prelude to lovemaking, you will find a greater level of sexual pleasure, because when the heart center is open, your ability to perceive the subtle nuances of erotic stimulation increases ten-fold.
Also, this connectivity and level of oneness allows you to feel and experience your partner's pleasure as well as your own. This is the true essence of oneness and tantric love-making
If you are not experiencing that level of oneness, one has to consider the factors that may be contributing to a more limited experience of each other, such as lifestyle differences, energetic differences (perhaps one partner is low energy and the other is high energy), depth of emotional commitment and love, and spiritual compatibility.
2. Add the qigong method of deepening your flow of breath when touching and kissing.
Step 1: Inhale into your lower abdomen and allow it to fill like a balloon, then fill through the lungs.
Step 2: Exhale by contracting the lower abdomen to fully expel the breath slowly.
Step 3: When you slow and deepen your breath mindfully, oxytocin, the brain chemical that is associated with feeling in love, increases. This heightens your awareness of the energy of your emotions, physical energy, and spirit, and also creates a deeper bond with your partner (oxytocin is also known as the bonding chemical). Thus, mindful breathwork heightens your awareness of the nuances of touch, feeling, and connectivity with your partner.
When men engage this style of breathwork, they will be able to maintain erections longer, and achieve what is known as the dry orgasm, where the pleasure of orgasmic release occurs without ejaculation. Women will find that this style of breathwork will encourage multiple orgasms and a greater opening of the heart center to feel more rooted emotionally with a partner.
3. Use a tantric touch to enhance the bond between you and your partner.
The way you touch your partner can enhance emotional and spiritual bonding through sexuality. Tantric touches naturally are highly sensuous and start with you first becoming aware of the energy of your own hands, centering yourself, and breathing deeply.
From there, form the intention to share your deepest essential energy with your partner with each stroke or caress. Think of it as sharing the gift of your inner self and receiving that gift in return when your partner touches you.
With this intentionality of mindful sharing and receiving deep energy through touches, you will find that your touches will slow and soften. You will find that your hands will naturally be curious and will seek to discover in new ways, new aspects of your partner's body and heart. Your hands will also communicate your feelings and reveal your heart.
To boost and enhance the energy shared by your hands, you can also use tantric essential oil blends.
I created a lover's blend essential oil blend that is infused with high energy and contains oils such as clove, nutmeg, and some of the other classical aphrodisiac essential oils. When applied to the skin, the energy of your own hands combined with the energy of the oils can deepen the sensual connection with your partner, allowing you both to travel to a place of blissful eroticism. You can also use a light sprinkle of honey dust on your hands to caress erogenous zones such as the chest, nape of the neck, back of the knees.
With mindful and relaxed touches focusing on sharing energy, you will find that the level of eroticism will increase greatly and naturally lead you to feel a greater sense of a body, mind, and spirit connection with your love.
Benefits of tantric sex:
There are several benefits to tantric sex but a few of the bigger ones are:
Getting more of what you actually want in sex, as well as being able to release sexual blocks and shame, and finding healing from sexual trauma.
Some other more physical benefits are experiencing whole body orgasm or even multiple organisms and having longer sex sessions. Tantric sex also helps to increase communication which is a key factor in making a relationship work.
How do you prepare for tantric sex?
The first thing you need to do before engaging in any sexual way is to create a safe place where you can experiment and be vulnerable together.
To practice tantric sex, you should start with a simple but very important step which is "eye-gazing". This is when you look into the eyes of each other. It'll probably feel a little weird at first but keep at it. Soon a feeling of relaxation and deeper connection will follow.
Then get physical. Start with light touching, hand-holding, etc. The most common is to place a hand on your own heart and your partners' (your partner should do the same). This creates a "circuit" i.e. a circle of energy that will flow out of you and into your partner and vice versa.
Lastly, if you are just getting started only go as far as you are comfortable. This is a good thing to do with any sexual act.
Tantric sex positions to try:
Eye contact during all of these is encouraged.
1. Lotus (also known as Yab Yum)
This is considered The Tantric Position and will probably be in every brochure made about tantric sex. The penetrating partner is to sit cross-legged while the receiving partner straddles the partner while facing them. They then wrap their legs around their partner's lower back. You should use practices like breathe work and eye gazing.
2. The Great Bee
This is similar to cowgirl, but instead of just sitting on your partner you actually bring your legs up like you were doing a deep squat.
Then instead of thrusting up and down, try tilting side to side back and forth and using circular motions.
3. The Relaxed Arch
Have your partner sit upright on the bed with their legs straight. Sit on your knees on your partner’s lap, then begin to arch your back slowly. Rest your head between your partner’s legs and grab hold of their ankles or feet.
Sex therapists often recommend Tantric sex to couples who are having intimacy problems, but if it doesn't work you should seek professional help elsewhere.
D. Kay Hutchinson is an author and founder of Aiki Healing: An Integrative Practice of Chinese Medicine.