7 Ways To Survive A Zombie Apocalypse, Single Or Coupled Up
There are an awful lot of news stories about zombies right now.
A homeless guy gets most of his face eaten by a crazy, naked cannibal under a bridge in Miami. A Japanese artist removes his own genitals and serves them up on a plate. The Chinese are eating roasted fetuses. The 24-year-old woman who lost body parts to a flesh-eating virus? Terrifying! We thought this stuff only belonged in campy zombie movies and The Simpsons "Treehouse Full Of Horror" Halloween specials.*
No wonder some are hypothesizing that a zombie apocalypse is nigh. Yes, a zombie apocalypse. This is an actual, legitimate story in the news, and we're writing about it — a bit hard to believe, but alrighty then. Naturally, this brought us to the question: What do your zombie-fighting skills say about your relationship? If you were being attacked by a herd of flesh-eating zombies in the middle of the night, would your boyfriend fight them off and save you like a knight in shining armor? Or would he go hide on the roof crying? Would you use your Xena: Warrior Princess skills to save him? Here's what our staff had to say about how they'd survive a zombie apocalypse. Because, you know, that's very likely to happen.
Beach Time. "Sounds like a great excuse to move my family to the beach, since zombies hate water!" - Genevieve, Senior Editor
Besties. "I want to befriend one." - Carly, Intern
Call For Help. "I'd call Wes Craven. He'd know what to do." - Rachel, Associate Editor, YourTango Experts
Surrender. "I'd get eaten. I run everyday and am in pretty good shape, but I'd freeze up and be zombie food without a doubt!" - Caitlyn, Intern
Superwoman. "I'd make a suit out of armor that has long spikes sticking out of it, so no one could touch me. It would also have a face guard. And then I'd fashion weapons and try to kill them. Hey, this single gal is not going down without a fight! Don't let my love of p ink fool you!" - Faye, Senior Associate Editor
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Fresh Meat. "My boyfriend and I would use the zombie apocalypse as an excuse to cook them a nice delicious steak, since we're always looking for an excuse to do that anyway. They can eat the steak and forget about my gross human meat. Maybe with garlic on it, in case they're vampires too." - Natalie, Associate Editor
Walking Dead. "Living in New York is tough. If I had a lady over, I may just try to procure some seriously awesome drugs and lots of water and just go ahead and call it a life. But if I didn't live on an inescapable, zombie killzone of an island, I suppose I would find a weapon, get in a car, head toward high ground and more-or-less Walking Dead the whole thing until we get caught by zombies, get into a fight with a superior group of survivors or a cure is found. Either way, I'm hoarding birth control pills, penicillin and bullets." - Tom, General Manager
*AAAAAH! This just in! A student in Maryland killed his roommate, and ate his brain and heart! I can't handle this anymore.
What would you (and your partner, if you have one) do in case of a zombie apocalypse?