28 Painful-But-Proven Ways To Move On From A Past Relationship
Move on in a healthy way to attract the right one for you.
GaudiLab | Shutterstock When a relationship is over, it can be extremely difficult to let go and understand how to get over a breakup in a healthy way.
Rather than dwelling on the past and trying to fix what went wrong, it's really just time to let go.
You may continue to think about your ex, your good times, and how much you miss them. But holding on to a past love clutters up your heart and mind.
Letting go opens up the space and possibilities to attract the partner of your dreams.
If you're set on letting go of the past and want to stop dwelling on the relationship you had with your ex, there are certain things you need to stop doing.
Here are 14 things you should stop doing now to move on from a breakup
1. Listening to love songs that remind you of them
It's all right to listen if you really love the song, but don't assign the weight of your romantic past to it.
2. Going to places where you spent time together
There is always something there to remind you. Always.
3. Thinking about the good times you had together
It's OK to remember them fondly. Just don't paint a rosier mental picture than reality.
4. Communicating with him through text or call
This can be construed as stalking and should be avoided at all costs.
5. Being friends with benefits or being the 'other woman'
Do what you want to do, but do it for the right reasons!
6. Wishing and hoping that he'll come back to you
It's natural to mourn for a lost love, but pining over it forever won't bring it back.
7. Being in denial that it's over
Don't tell yourself lies about the relationship. The truth will set you free.
8. Looking at his pictures, cards, love letters, and his Facebook
Nostalgia is fine. Obsession is not.
9. Staying in contact with his friends and family
If you need support, seek it elsewhere.
10. Talking continually about him with your friends, family, and anyone who will listen
This is a great way to lose your friends. They don't want to hear it.
11. Trying to run into him in bars and nightclubs
In fact, go to new places and meet new people.
12. Looking for him on online dating sites
Dating sites are fine, but consider all of your options there!
13. Trying to make him jealous by flirting with or connecting with his male friends
He won't care, anyway. Chances are, he's already moved on.
14. Letting yourself get rundown (overeating, not exercising)
A healthy mind depends on a healthy body — and vice-versa.
In addition to stopping certain behaviors, there are other practices you should take on.
These 14 habits or actions can help you transition and move forward with more ease and grace:
1. Find your happiness from within
2. Be grateful for the wonderful things in your life
Count your blessings if you can.
3. Find your passions and focus on them
Remember what makes you who you are.
4. Get healthy from the inside out
Focus on good thoughts.
5. Focus on the present moment and know that all is well
There is no yesterday or tomorrow. There is only today.
6. Connect and spend time with your family and friends
If you're fortunate enough to still have grandparents, write them a letter!
7. Enjoy hobbies and activities that you've been meaning to do
Seriously, maybe it's time to dust behind the couch.
8. Do things to refresh, renew, and soothe your soul
Re-read a favorite book. Take a solo vacation to a dream location. Treat yourself to a special meal.
9. Exercise and work out
Join a gym or go to a yoga or spin class.
10. Listen to uplifting music
And dance by yourself at home!
11. Keep a journal
Write letters to your future self.
12. Read positive books
And find a community of readers who want to talk about those books.
13. Create a bucket list and start doing things on your list
Volunteer, teach a class, join a campaign, or learn a language. It's all there for you to try.
14. Apply lessons from your past relationships to create your ideal love life
Make a list of things you liked and didn't like about your past romantic partners and focus on finding the right one next time!
Be patient and gentle with yourself during this time. It takes courage to move forward and becomes easier once you start.
Janet Ong Zimmerman is the founder of Love for Successful Women, and creator of the Woo Course: 9 Juicy Ways to Bring Out a Man's Desire to Woo You. She works with successful women who are self-aware, courageous, and committed to finding the love they desire.